A Little Life Update & My Favorite Lip Combo of the Week

Hey there!

As I’ve mentioned in my last post I have successfully managed to make it through the first week of my 4th semester at University! Yay! It’s been a stressful week and I have a feeling that this semester is going to be the hardest one yet! I’m taking a lot of courses this year and I need to write so many final essays and papers this time I’m probably gonna be sick and tired of spending so much time in front of my MacBook once summer rolls around.

Nonetheless I’m taking some really interesting courses this year. I know I’ve mentioned before what I’m studying but I don’t think I’ve ever really explained it. Now my study program is called English Language and Culture and I chose to focus on North America rather than the UK. No offence, I love the UK and have a wonderful time whenever I go there but I used to live in the US and it’s like my favorite place in the world and I really miss living there.

 However, I didn’t just want to study English or literature so I decided to study English language and culture because it’s a mixture of language classes (Syntax and Phonetics), history, politics, art, cultural studies and of course literature. This year especially I have quite a few classes that seem so interesting! Apart from even more literature and politics classes one of the courses I have to take is called American Popular Culture, in which we talk about all sorts of new phenomenons that are part of popular culture, be it movies, music, TV, comic books or even graffiti in big cities with NYC as a case study (I actually have to do a presentation on that soon). We’re also finally putting a bigger focus on Canada and after my first class of Canadian literature I totally wanna travel there now. Our professor basically gave us a 90 minute introduction to Canada as a country in general and Canada has now moved up a lot on my list of countries I still want to travel to. You guys probably don’t even care about this but I’m just really excited about some of the courses I’m taking this year, so I just wanted to share a bit more of my experience with going to University.

But let’s move on to the beauty part now. There’s a combo I’ve been loving a lot this week! I’m a fan of lip liner and one I’ve been loving this week is the Maybelline Color Sensational Lip Liner in 132 Sweet Pink. It’s basically a soft pink nude that gives you a your lips but better kind of color while adding some volume. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t really like gloss too much but I’ve been obsessing over my Urban Decay Naked Gloss in Sesso, which was included in the Naked On The Run palette I got very recently. Unfortunately I think you can only buy this gloss as part of the palette but it really makes me want to try out some of the other UD glosses. As you can probably guess I’ve paired these two together and I think they look great as the Naked Gloss is rather sheer, so it adds a nice shimmer to your lips without being over the top glittery.

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As always I hope you enjoyed this post. If you’d like to read more lifestyle posts about my University experience please let me know! Also do let me know if you like me mixing lifestyle posts with a bit of beauty as I did today!

Lots of love,

Sophie

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Cause True Friendship Really Doesn’t Know Distance

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I was inspired to write this post by a lovely email I got this morning from a very special friend of mine. You know how people always say true friendship knows no time or distance? That you can go weeks without talking to someone and nothing will change? I feel like that kind of friendship is very rare and very special and if you do ever experience such a friendship you should hold on to it and never let go. Like never ever in a million years because you probably won’t find such a thing again.

So how do I begin with this post? Well, let’s start with a bit of background information. Until nearly four years ago I used to live in a small town within the greater New Orleans area in Louisiana, but in June 2011 I moved away from there. While I was living there I went to a very small private school but nonetheless I had a bunch of great friends. Now nearly 4 years later I’m still in touch with a few of them but there’s one friend I made there, who is just extra special to me. We met on my first day when I was still a newbie at that school and we immediately got along. You know when you meet someone and somehow everything fits together perfectly and you’re just like where have you been all my life? It was kind of like that. We started hanging out all the time and I could literally talk to her about anything without feeling weird. Usually I’m not that kind of person who talks about their feelings or worries or anything too personal very much but with her it was different. She’s one of the few people I could be completely myself with because I knew for a fact that she would never ever judge me no matter what.

Now four years later we’re still in touch. We don’t talk that often and we haven’t seen each other in person in 4 years but whenever I get an email from her or whenever we actually do manage to find the time to Skype it just feels so familiar and so natural. I can still open up to her about anything even though we’re nearly 5000 miles apart, I haven’t seen her in so long and we don’t talk on a regular basis. But it literally makes no difference. Whenever I hear from her it just takes me straight back to 16 year old me having a blast at those Friday night football games or stressing about finding the perfect dress for homecoming with one of the best friends I could’ve ever asked for.

For years we’ve been making these plans about me coming back to Louisiana and visiting her or her coming over to Europe. We even thought about traveling Europe together over the summer and made all these crazy plans. Unfortunately we haven’t been able to turn anything into reality yet but since we’re both turning 20 this year our plans actually do become a bit more realistic.

Ever since I was little we’ve moved around a lot. I’ve already lived in 9 different cities in 3 different countries.The longest I’ve ever lived in the same place was for 5 years.  I’ve met a bunch of people in my life and I know what it’s like to have to say goodbye to your friends not knowing when or if you will ever see them again. I also know what it’s like to be the new kid all the time. When I was younger I had good friends as well. Friends I would have called my best friends at the time but every time I moved away again I would eventually lose contact to them.

I feel like a friendship in which you can be 100% yourself is very rare and I’m so glad I’ve found a friend like that, even though we may be living miles apart at the moment it doesn’t change anything between us at all and I find that to be such a beautiful thing. Her emails still make my entire day and if there’s ever a time when I’m really down and need to talk to someone she’s the first person I turn to because I know for a fact that she will always be there for me just like I’ll always be there for her no matter what.

So as I’ve already said in the beginning of this post if you ever find a friendship that can’t even be separated by miles and miles hold on to it. Cause who needs those so-called friends who can’t even take a minute out of their day to text you back when you have a friendship like that, right?

As always thanks so much for reading!

Lots of love,

Sophie

Traveling By Yourself – The One Day I Went To Amsterdam By Myself

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As I’ve mentioned in my last blog post I want to attempt making my content more diverse again so here it goes. If you’ve read my blog for a while you may remember that one time I went to Amsterdam and how I went all by myself. So I’m currently living in the Netherlands (has it really been 1.5 years since I moved here?) and I moved here in the summer of 2013 to go to University over here and hopefully get my BA degree, but that’s a whole other story.

Anyway… the city I live in is about an hour and a half long train ride away from the Netherlands capital Amsterdam, which I’ve been wanting to visit for the longest time. So about a year ago I went to the train station, bought a ticket and hopped on the next train to Amsterdam all by myself. I was definitely a bit nervous because Amsterdam is a pretty big and busy place and obviously I don’t know my way around there nor do I know anyone living there. Additionally my Dutch wasn’t very good at all then. It’s still not that great, especially my spoken Dutch, but I understand it pretty good now and I can read it, so that’s definitely progress. Back then I couldn’t say much in Dutch at all though, so I was a bit afraid I might get lost somewhere and then wouldn’t be able to communicate all too well with people. Luckily that didn’t happen.

When I arrived in Amsterdam once left the train station I found myself basically right in the middle of Amsterdam and it was absolutely crowded and full of tourists everywhere. But the weather was great and I fell in love with the way the city looked immediately. It is such a charming and beautiful place I couldn’t get enough of it. I was all by myself and didn’t really make a plan of what I wanted to do before I left, so I just started walking. I walked around the center of the city and just tried to take everything in, that I came across. There was so much to see and I wish I could’ve stayed longer but it was still so cool to finally be there. After some more walking around I went to get a coffee and something to eat and sat down near this incredibly crowded square like place and just watched people passing by. I can’t really explain why but I just felt so happy and free. I was in Amsterdam, a city I’ve been wanting to go to for ages and I was there all by myself and no one could tell me what to do. It was so nice to just sit there and enjoy the moment.

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Later on I went to start exploring some little streets a bit further away from the center before I  went down to the riverside and just watched the boats pass by. One thing I unfortunately didn’t get to do and still haven’t managed to do is a canal tour! But it’s still on the very top of my to do list and I’m kind of hoping that maybe I can do it this summer.

So what am I trying to say with this post? Well, as much as I love traveling with my family or with my friends it was nice to go on a little trip all by myself even if it was just for a day. I got to do something I’ve been wanting to do for a while now and I enjoyed every single moment of it. Especially the fact that I got to do it by myself totally changed my entire experience. It allowed me to take everything in without being urged to move on. I had time to just enjoy the moment and reflect on a lot of different things and it gave me a change of scenery though if only for a day. Another thing I liked was how I found myself having conversations with people I’ve never met before. At the train station I met this incredibly nice girl who just started talking to me out of nowhere and I’m glad she spoke English because like I said my Dutch was horrendous as the time. All together I just had an amazing day and I would totally do it again any time. I think I might need to make a list of other cities the Netherlands have to offer and just go exploring. Maybe I’ll pick something close to the sea next time.

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 So if there’s a certain place near you, or maybe even further away, you’ve always wanted to go to just go ahead and do it. As much as I love hanging out with my friends it was nice to just have some time all to myself. When you’re going to University you rarely ever get that because either your busy on campus or most students live in a shared apartment or dorm, so you’re always surrounded by people.

Now this post was definitely quite different to my usual posts but I hope you enjoyed reading it anyway and I would love to hear your thoughts!

Much love,

Sophie

The Best Things About Fall (in my opinion)

So October is really here and fall has now officially begun! It’s just crazy how fast time is flying by. It feels like I just returned from my summer vacation yesterday but now it’s already October and my first midterms are coming up. Crazy times.

If you would ask me what my favorite season is I couldn’t really give you a concrete answer because I feel like there are great things about any season and I can’t ever decide. When it’s cold and winter I want it to be warm and summer and when it’s warm and summer I’m wishing for cold winter, so I can wear my favorite knitted sweaters. Anybody else got that problem or am I just weird like that?

Anyway… I absolutely adore fall. I have some of the best fall childhood memories, which is why I’ll probably always be excited about fall. In today’s post I’ll be sharing my favorite things about fall with you guys as you might’ve been able to guess from the title. Well, here we go!

Hot Chocolate with Marshallows

I’m not the biggest person on hot drinks. I stopped drinking coffee a while ago and the only tea I really enjoy is green tea. But I love me some hot chocolate and especially with marshmallows. It is just such a delicious treat. When it’s really cold outside and you come home and make yourself some hot chocolate and cuddle up with your favorite blanket to watch a good movie… perfection!

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Knitted Sweaters

Knitted sweaters are an obsession of mine. I keep buying new ones every year as soon as the weather’s slightly cooling down. They are just so cozy and warm and comfy and perfect. How can you not love them?

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Halloween

I love horror movies. I don’t know why because I get scared so freaking easily. My brother loves to jump up behind me and scare me to death all the time but I still am obsessed with horror movies. I even watch them by myself. Like literally completely alone and in the dark! Insane, I know! So  I guess it comes as no surprise, that  I love Halloween. I don’t know why but I find the whole spooky thing just so fascinating.

Crafting

When I was younger my mom would always do so much crafting with my brother and me. Since the weather got colder and we couldn’t play outside as much anymore we would make hot chocolate, get some cookies out and sit around our big kitchen table, making our own DIY fall decoration for the house or just anything crafty and artsy really. I’m not the most talented, when it comes to crafting but I had the time of my life anyway. I wish we’d still do that! Maybe I should suggest it but nowadays my brother’s caught up with school and I have lots to do with University classes.

The Nature

I just love how the leaves changes colors. In general I just love fall colors. The pretty dark reds and green and orange. It’s just so nice to get my dog and go for a walk through the forrest. Everything just looks so pretty.

Dark Lips

Last but absolutely not least I love dark lips. Being obsessed with make up I just love wearing my dark reds and purple lipstick during fall and winter season. I just like they way the look with my pretty pale skin.

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So these are my favorite things about fall! Are you excited it’s finally fall? What are your favorite things about this season?

XX

Sophie

Patience Is Key

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I seem to have developed a habit of writing very personal lifestyle kind of posts every Sunday and this one seems to be no exception. I guess typing this all up helps me personally to realise certain things, to process what happened and to get things off my chest and who knows? Maybe someone out there who is feeling similar will read this and maybe it will help someone to know their not alone with things like these.

So basically I had a check up appointment the other day. They did another X-ray of my heart and drew some blood to see if the medication I still have to take is working correctly. Plus I also had an appointment with the cardiologist who has mostly been in charge of my case. We had a conversation and he explained the results of the tests to me and I got some pretty amazing news. When they did the x-ray there was not even a trace to be seen of what had happened. My heart had completely recovered and I won’t be suffering from any permanent damage to my heart. I still have to be on medication for another 6 months just to be sure but basically I’m 100% healthy again. The doctors told me it’s a little bit of a miracle because after having such a severe case of pulmonary embolism, that blood is blocking your heart you usually don’t get away like that. When I was got into the hospital my right heart had been swollen up to the size of my left heart. Usually your right heart is supposed to be a third of the size of your right heart. Now it’s all back to normal. Guess I must have been extremely lucky.

Now I’ve been going back to University for 2 weeks already and it still takes me quite a lot of courage to force myself to leave my room and go out there in the world because I still have those days in the hospital engraved into my mind and I’m afraid something like that could happen again. Everyone telling me that I’m fine and shouldn’t have to worry is even making it worse. It makes me feel like it’s my fault that I get so panicky sometimes.

This upcoming week is actually the first week I will be staying in the Netherlands for longer than a few days because I had a couple of days off during the last 2 weeks in which I would go back home. Yesterday was the first time I went out with a friend for dinner since the whole hospital situation. Even though I was terribly nervous for some reason that is unknown to me I really enjoyed myself. It was actually nice to be with people I care about and to just talk and have a good time. I’m not exactly interested in hitting the clubs again and partying like there’s no tomorrow but I managed to enjoy myself outside of my current ‘comfort zone’ I guess. I used to always enjoy hanging out with all my friends whether it was just meeting up for lunch, shopping or even clubbing. Ever since I got home I wasn’t interested in any of that. All I wanted was to just stay in my bed and be alone. So yesterday was definitely an important step and I’m a lot more optimistic now.

I know I will never get an answer to the questions spinning around in my head. Why me? Why was I one in like 100.000? Why did I get a second chance? How is it possible that I’m recovering so quickly? Truth is no one knows and thinking about it 24/7 won’t get me any answers. And it sure doesn’t help me to move on. Actually it does more of the exact opposite.

It’s been a little over a month since I was hospitalized and of course everything that has happened is still incredibly present in my life. If you are forced with the possibility of death that doesn’t leave you cold. It changes your point of view. They way you see things. The way you perceive the world. Since then I hardly walked or did any kind of exercise, simply because I wasn’t allowed to. I am totally out of breath if I have to walk a fairly short distance. Walking up stairs is very exhausting, which is quite frustrating. I swear, I feel like an old granny at times. My fitness level has decreased immensely. Now it’s up to me to change that. I have to go on walks to just get my heart back on track.

Today I went on a little walk with my mom and my dog for the first time. Even though I didn’t get too far, because it was so exhausting for me I guess I just have to see the positive things. Four weeks ago I wasn’t even allowed to stand up. Just leaving the hospital for a few minutes and be able to suck in some fresh air was my biggest dream back then. Three weeks ago I barely made it to the bathroom for the first time. I still remember how shaky my legs were and I was more stumbling then walking. I guess I just have to make myself see the progress.

I have to be patient and continue to slowly get my life back together. I have to stop spending so  much time alone in my room bringing back those scary moments over and over and over again and thinking why? That won’t get me anywhere. I have to surround myself with positive people, who care about me. I have to go on walks to improve my physical condition and maybe I’ll finally be able to cycle to Uni in a few months from now just like I used to. But most importantly I have to be patient. I can’t expect everything to just go back to the way it was. My body needs time to recover and so does my mind.  I guess sometimes patience and a bit of effort is the key.

XX

Sophie

‘Cause Moving On Is Hard…

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I want to start this post off by saying that I’m no way writing this to get any special attention or pity. The reason I’m writing this is because I’m someone who can’t talk about feelings. I just can’t. I tend to keep everything to myself but lately something in my life happened that I need to process somehow. Some people may say now why are you sharing it with the Internet? I regard my blog as my little corner on the Internet, where I can write whatever I want to. People who read this may judge me but I won’t know because I’ll probably never meet them, so I don’t really mind. Judge me all you want. And trust me it wasn’t easy to write all of this down and to hit the publish button. I just know that I need to share this and since I can’t talk about it I have to write about it. Anyway.. I’m sharing my story because maybe someone else is going through something similar and can feel along and it just helps me to try and move on.

Tomorrow it will be 3 weeks since it all happened. 3 weeks since my dad brought me to the hospital and I ended up in intensive care battling a life threatening disease.

I have always lived pretty healthy. I don’t smoke. I hardly drink. I eat my veggies. I work out every now and then. In general I just try to look after my body. During my vacation in August I suffered from a pretty bad cold, so when I returned home and felt weak and tired all the time I didn’t think of anything bad. I thought it was just still related to my cold. Then on Sunday I woke up with chest pain and whenever I walked stairs I could hardly breath, which seemed a bit alarming to me but still I just thought it was because of my cold. Since I was feeling good besides being a bit out of breath I went out to dinner with some friends of mine and we were even making fun of me for sounding like Darth Vader.

On Monday morning I woke up and I could feel my heart racing so fast like it was about to jump out of my chest. The pressure on my chest had increased a lot. Unfortunately I was home alone. My parents were both at work and my brother was at school. I went downstairs to make me some tea and when I went upstairs again and reached my room I was so out of breath I thought I was going to choke. I lay down on my bed and after 10 minutes my breathing had gone back to normal. I just felt like something was terribly wrong, so I texted my mom and she told me to call my dad. My dad’s a surgeon in a big hospital, so he came right over and brought me there. Since he works there I didn’t have to wait and was brought to a room right away.

I thought I had just some kind of infection and they  would give some antibiotics but things came very differently. They drew blood and run some tests. They told me I had to stay for a few days and after waiting for a while they brought me to a room in a wheelchair. I wasn’t allowed to walk anywhere, which seemed so weird to me because I was feeling fine apart from being out of breath easily. After doing some tests my dad came into my room and told me that I was suffering from pulmonary embolism. What basically happens is that blood clots block arteries in your lungs. No matter how severe it is it’s always life threatening if nothing is done. Of course my dad didn’t tell me that. After doing some more tests one of the doctors I’d met throughout the day came into my room and told me that I would have to be moved into intensive care. That was the moment I realised that it must be something serious because they don’t put you there for no reason. I was moved there on that Monday evening and was hooked up to a bunch of monitors watching my every heartbeat, checking my blood pressure every hour and other stuff. I was terrified.

The next day they told me that my case was pretty severe because it had gone so far that there was blood blocking my right heart. During the next days they put me on pretty heavy medication to dissolve the blood clots. The treatment I had to go through came with lots of risks but I don’t want to go through all the details. I kind of just want to forget those days because it didn’t all work like it was supposed to and some complications came up but eventually it all came to an end.

After almost 2 weeks in the hospital the blood clots in my lungs and in my right heart were gone and I was healthy again. They released me and I returned home. On my last day they did one last test and everything looked like nothing ever happened. One of the doctors told my dad that he’d never seen anything like that. Usually you don’t get away without any permanent damage to your heart after such a severe case.

I was so lucky. If my dad wasn’t a surgeon and hadn’t once studied these things I probably wouldn’t have gone to the hospital right away. And if his colleagues hadn’t acted so fast and tried their everything to help me I probably wouldn’t be writing this right now.

I still have to take heavy medication for a while but basically I’m healthy again. Still I’m scared. I missed 2 weeks of university and I’m just scared of I don’t even know what. It’s just that one moment I was out with my friends and 24 hours later I found myself in intensive care hooked up to all these machines with a dangerous disease. I realised how fast life can change. In just seconds everything can be over.

Sometimes I feel so sad even though I should be crying tears of joy for still being here. Sure I’m glad it’s all over and I’m okay again. I’m beyond glad. I’m so grateful. But still I’m scared of my everyday life the way it was. I still have nightmares about those nights in the hospital when I was laying there in intensive care at night. When my parents where with me during the day they took my mind off of things but when I was alone at night all the horrible thoughts came to haunt me.

So tomorrow I’m going to my first lecture again. I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about everything to my friends in person. Writing it all down is so much easier but having to actually say it. I’m so scared I won’t be able to catch up on all of the things I missed. Plus I will be away from home and my parents in another country again. It’s all so scary to think about but I know I eventually have to get back on track and start living my life again. Right now I’m just kind of here. I used to be such a happy person. I had so many dreams and plans. I still do but right now it all seems so irrelevant. I used to get so freaking excited when I bout a new lipstick or eyeshadow or something like that and now I don’t feel anything really. I just feel kind of empty.

I just hope I can get back to my old self because I liked my old self. I hope that going back to uni will help me move on from this. I survived and now I need to start living again. My only problem is that I’m scared.

Wish me luck for tomorrow because I’m terribly nervous already!

Also I’d like to thank everyone who is reading my blog, liking and commenting on my pictures. This really means the world to me and I can’t believe that a little over 300 people are actually reading my rambles. Thank you so much!

Sophie

Road Trip Diary Part 4: Shakespeare, Christmas & Ghost Walks

After having spend two nights in Oxfordshire it was time to move on and our next destination was York. Before actually going to York we made a quick stop in the historical town of Stratford-upon-Avon because it was Shakespeare’s birth place and my mom really wanted to go see that. I have to admit I wasn’t in the best mood because I had caught an annoying cold. I had a horrible headache, felt really weak and tired and my nose was completely blocked. To top it all of it started to pour down rain like crazy when we got out of the car. You can probably imagine that I wasn’t all too excited to look at old houses whether Shakespeare had lived in them or not. All I wanted was my bed and a hot cup of tea.

When we actually did reach Shakespeare’s birthplace and took a tour through it I was quite amazed by it though considering the house has been standing there since the 16th century. That is really impressive. I forgot my cold for a minute and really enjoyed learning about the life of one of the greatest writers to ever walk on this planet. Next up we visited some other houses some of his family members had lived in before ending our tour with visiting his grave. That was a bit bizarre to me because, well, I just don’t have the desire to look at graves. Who does,right?
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As much as I really enjoyed learning more about Shakespeare my absolute favorite thing in Startford was probably this Christmas store I spotted. Okay, Christmas is basically my favorite time of the entire year. I love Christmas music, and baking, and putting up lights everywhere and just making people happy. Christmas just reunites people and I could go on and on about why I love Christmas but you reading this probably don’t care. So I saw this Christmas store and obviously I had to go inside. This place is just truly awesome. It sounds like Christmas. It looks like Christmas and it even smells like Christmas. It just made me incredibly happy.

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After having spent about 4 hours in Stratford we decided it time to get back on the road and continue our drive to York. Good thing we did because it took much much longer than expected. We were supposed to arrive at around 4pm but due to immense traffic and horrible weather conditions we didn’t make it until 6.30pm. When we finally arrived at out bed and breakfast I was so happy to see I finally got a room for myself and didn’t have to share it with my brother. My room was really nice and most importantly free of spiders. I was in heaven for 3 nights. After getting some rest we went to a pub near by and I had my very first British pub lunch. Yay! It was quite good.

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The next day we got up quite early and spent the entire day exploring York. I think York might be one of my favorite places I’ve been to in England so far. It is just such a beautiful place. I like how it’s not such a big city, so you can explore it within a day without getting lost. We started off by walking through this beautiful garden. After that we went into the huge Minster cathedral and took a tour through it. It is such a pretty cathedral.

After lunch  we went on a boat tour! YAY! I absolutely love boat tours (as long as the weather’s nice). I just like sitting on a boat while people tell me facts about the buildings I’m seeing. That’s just me. I’m boring like that. Sorry.

We then continued to walk through the city itself and I did a tiny little bit of shopping. After dinner we waited until 8pm to take part in a ghost walk. I kind of like mystical weird stuff. Horror movies are my favorite and I loved hearing ghost stories when I was little so it was jet naturally that I talked everyone into joining me for the ghost walk. Now I don’t really believe in ghosts but I just really like the stories. The guy doing the ghost walk did such a great job! We walked to some scary places within York and he would tell us some horrifying stories that apparently happened there.

When the ghost walk was over I was absolutely exhausted and tired and couldn’t wait to get into bed. But York was definitely one of my favorite places to visit in England and I hope to go back there one day.

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Hope you enjoyed this post!

Sophie