When It’s Time To End A Friendship…

Change is inevitable. Whether we do want or don’t want change, it forces its way into our lives from time to time and there’s nothing we can do about it. Yes, things can change for the worse but often things change for the better. But it’s not always things that change. Often it can be people that change for better or for worse.

I’ve always been a bit more of a reserved person and although I can be very social at times I definitely identify as an introvert. Luckily I have never struggled to make new friends and I generally get along with just about anybody. Hence especially in high school I’ve had lots of friends. Fast forward a few years later and my group of friends has  shrunk quite drastically. Time is very valuable, so I choose to only spend it with people I feel are worthy of my time and effort. I know I know that might sound a bit harsh but is it really?

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I can’t count the amount of times I have worried about somebody not liking me, being upset about feeling left out or disappointed about what an alleged friend said or did. So why waste time on people, who you don’t truly love to spend time with? Who you can’t trust? Cause you shouldn’t! Some people simply aren’t worth your time and effort and sometimes it’s better to leave those people in the past and cut them out of your life.

Friendships end. But it’s not always a fight or betrayal that ends a friendship. Sometimes you just grow apart and that is okay because people change. No one is the same person they were ten years ago. Life never stops and we constantly encounter new people and experiences, which cause us to grow and develop and change. It’s natural. But sometimes it’s very hard to admit that you no longer have much in common with a person you once cared so much about. A person you shared so many memories with.

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I’m often told I’m quite mature for my age and I think that might be because I moved a lot growing up and I’m quite lucky to have been able to travel to lots of places and live and study in four different countries so far. Even during my junior and senior year in high school I was already different from my friends. Most of them had been born in the same city they’ve lived in for the majority of their lives. It was the typical everybody knows everybody kind of town most people never stray to far away from. I’ve always had big dreams of going foreign places and exploring the world country by country even at age sixteen. I had just moved back to Europe from the US, a country the majority of my new classmates had never been to, so everybody was quite intrigued to hear my stories and I made new friends easily. But things where easy back in high school. There was always something to talk about because as teenagers we all kind of go through the same things and life pretty much solely revolves around friends, partying and school.

I genuinely thought I made some friends for life back then and no matter where I would end up I would always keep in touch with my friends from school. After graduating high school I moved to the Netherlands to attend university there but I still came home every other weekend to see my dog, my family and my old friends of course. Especially during my first year of college I still hung out with them a lot but things started to change. Well, I think it was me that was changing while most of them didn’t. I felt how I was drifting away from my group friends and I didn’t enjoy spending time with them as much anymore because I felt like I barely had anything to talk about with them.

 I still had my big dreams of traveling and hopefully being able to work abroad in the future. Yet, most of my friends at the time had no interest in broadening their horizons past the life they already knew. Whenever I met up with them I mostly sat there and listened to their conversations about different people, boring and trashy TV shows and work. I wanted to engage in the conversation so badly but I felt like I had nothing to contribute. Especially compared to new friends I made, who I could talk to about everything from our dreams and plans for the future to politics. But when I hung out with my old friends I just felt so lonely. Have you ever experienced that? You’re in a room full of people but you feel so disconnected from them it makes you feel even more lonely than if you were by yourself. Well, if you haven’t I can assure you it’s not a nice feeling. Especially if you once used to be so close to those people. But suddenly you’re the odd one out. You’re on the outside looking in.

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Since spending time with my old friends made me unhappy I started to cancel on them a lot, which maybe wasn’t the most adult thing to do I must admit but it felt like the right thing at the time. Cause why would I want to put myself in a situation I knew would make me miserable?

While I was in Canada I didn’t keep in touch with most of them but I met the most amazing people. People like me that love to travel and are open-minded and always up to experience something new. People who cared. People who I could have intellectual conversations with. People who made me happy when I spend time with them and it made me realize that those are the kind of people I want to surround myself with.

Now I might not have so many friends but the friends I do have are genuinely amazing people that make me happy and that is what counts. If a friendship for whatever reason is making you unhappy it might be time to end it. It might be hard. It definitely was for me because it’s really hurtful to come to the realization that people who once were an important part of your life no longer seem to have a place in it. But I believe that is part of growing up. We all change and sometimes that change leads us into very different directions and that is totally okay.

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Friendships shouldn’t be dragging you down. They should be lifting you up, so what’s important to remember is that you’re not alone with your dreams and plans and interests. There’s lots of people out there, who you have so much in common with. It might take some time to find them but in the end it’s going to be so worth it.

Love,

Sophie

 

 

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The Beauty of Traveling Alone

Traveling has always been my passion. If money wasn’t a problem I’d probably wake up in a new place every week, just waiting to explore everything. The list of places I still want to see is endless.

I briefly mentioned in my last post, that I spent a semester studying abroad in Canada. I went to an amazing university in a city called London, about two hours away from Toronto, and I had the most amazing time. I met some lovely people and I got to go on many amazing trips with my new friends. I felt so lucky because I got to see quite a bit of the beautiful country that is Canada. However, Vancouver was still on my list of places to visit but since it was at the other side of the country, from where I was living, I didn’t get the chance to go during my studies. My semester in Canada ended at the end of December but my new semester back in the Netherlands didn’t start until February, which left me with six weeks of free time.

I thought this would be my chance. My one chance to go travel to Vancouver and maybe some other places. Unfortunately all of my friends I made back in London all had to go back to their home countries much earlier than me, so if I decided to stay and travel I would have to do it on my own. I thought about it long and hard. Especially because it would also mean that I would miss Christmas with my family and would have to spend it alone but I just couldn’t pass up this opportunity, so I booked a flight from Toronto to Vancouver, one from Vancouver to Seattle, one from Seattle to San Francisco and one last one from San Francisco back home.

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I was so excited I got to travel and explore new cities with no worries, no deadlines in the back of my mind. I knew this would probably be my last few weeks of freedom and no stress, because once I got back home I would have to start working on my BA Thesis.

Before I left to Vancouver my mom and brother came to visit me in Toronto for two weeks and we had the best time. But when we all went to the airport and they got on a flight back to Europe it was really strange for me because I knew I wasn’t coming home with them. I was about to get on a flight to a city far away from everything and everyone I knew. I knew this wasn’t going to be like going on vacation with my friends to somewhere else in Europe. No, I would be across the world from my family and I wouldn’t have any friends there. Suddenly I started regretting my decision. I think I just got scared but I was also incredibly sad to leave Toronto. My few months in London had been some of the best of my life and I was devastated for it all to be over. I got to visit Toronto a few times while living in London and I fell in love with the city the first time I went there. I’m not even joking but if someone offered me a job there I’d move in a heartbeat.

Anyway, my point is that I think leaving Toronto to go travel by myself for 3 weeks really made me realize that my Canadian dream was about to be over and before I knew it I would be back home stuck in the same old routines.

After hours of traveling I finally made it to my hotel in Vancouver and went straight to bed. The next morning I woke up at 6am because of jet lag but I couldn’t get myself out of bed. I suddenly felt so lonely and anxious. After a few more hours I finally forced myself out of bed and opened the curtains in front of my hotel room windows. What I saw literally took my breath away.

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From my room I had the most amazing view over the city and if I looked all the way to the left I could see water and mountains. Within seconds my feelings changed from anxious and nervous to happy. I quickly got ready and started walking around the city to explore. The first place I walked to was the harbour and with each moment my heart filled up even more with joy.

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I know that sounds so corny but everything I was seeing looked so incredibly beautiful and I realized how lucky I was to experience it all, even if I was all by myself and didn’t have anyone to share it with. It didn’t matter at all in that moment. I felt so free and liberated like I have never felt before in my life. After all I was half a world away from everyone I knew. I was free to do exactly as I pleased and there was no one I had to explain myself to. No limitations. No restrictions.

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Everyone I told about my plans of traveling on my own was skeptical about it. Aren’t you goint to be scared all by yourself? Isn’t it much nicer to have someone to share those experiences with? The answer for me now is no. Yes, I was scared at first but all my doubts quickly flew out the window. Yes, it is nice to go on vacation with friends or loved ones and make amazing memories together but it is also incredibly nice to experience it all on your own. Wanna know why? Because you learn so much more about your self. You’re forced to make every decision by yourself, which really teaches you want it is you like, what it is you want and what it is that motivates you to make those decisions. It’s incredibly liberating and it is the most amazing feeling to be able to say yes I did this on my own. I was scared but I pulled myself through.

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Especially in Vancouver I went on lots of long walks through the beautiful nature there and just listened to music and took everything in. If you ever get the chance to visit this beautiful city take it. The city itself is nice but the nature around it is literally breathtaking. I’m definitely more of a city than nature person but I was captivated and even went on a little hike by myself, which is something I never thought I’d be doing. Especially not on my own. But that’s what traveling on your own does. It challenges you. It helps you discover new things about yourself that might really surprise you.

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After one week in Vancouver it was time for me to pack up and move on to a new city and a new adventure: Seattle.

The only reason I picked Seattle was because I knew I probably wouldn’t get the chance to go there again. It’s only a 27 minute plane ride from Vancouver, so it just seemed logical for me to go there. Seattle is a city you know even if you’re not from the US but is it a city you dream to travel to? Probably not so I figured I should go while I was kinda close because next time I travel to the States it probably wouldn’t be Seattle. Maybe Florida or NYC or the Grande Canyon or Las Vegas. But probably not Seattle.

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Now Seattle was nice. It wasn’t amazing and it couldn’t even come close to Vancouver or Toronto (for me personally) but nonetheless I’m glad I went. I went up the Space Needle and visited some cool museums. I walked along the water front and probably all of downtown Seattle. I liked it but I didn’t love it.

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The amount of homeless people and people high on drugs or wasted on alcohol shocked me and I was scared to go out alone after it got dark. I’ve never been scared of walking alone through the dark at home or in the city I lived in, in the Netherlands when I went to college, or even in Canada. I saw a lot of poverty and homeless people when I went to Chicago with one of my friends a few months before visiting Seattle but I wasn’t alone then so I never felt worried. Now being on my own that definitely changed.

But still I don’t regret going to Seattle and I don’t regret going on my own. I might’ve been a little bit disappointed and who knows maybe I would’ve loved it more if I hadn’t fallen so in love with Toronto and Vancouver. Who knows? Still I’m so incredibly grateful for every experience I made while traveling alone because I learned so much about myself in those three weeks and a lot of the things I experienced gave me a new perspective on life. Most of all it taught me how privileged I am to be so lucky to travel and see new places in the world. I will forever keep those memories with me and no one can them away from me.

So if you ever think about traveling somewhere but don’t have anyone to go with you don’t hesitate! You can do it on your own and every minute of it will be worth it. I would recommend everyone to at least travel somewhere by themselves once in their life. Even if it’s just for 2 days or just an hour away. Take the time for yourself and you might be surprised by what you find!

If you have made it to the end of this very lengthy post thank you for staying with me until the end.

So have you ever traveled alone or would you consider it?

Lots of love,

Sophie

 

A New Beginning

It’s been a very long time since I last wrote and pressed publish on a blog post. Actually it’s been a very long time since I last even looked at my blog. A lot has happened since. I spent six months studying abroad in Canada (best time ever) and I finished writing my Bachelor’s thesis (most stressful time ever).

The past months have been kinda crazy and emotional but some of the best I’ve ever had. So much was going on I totally neglected my little blog, which once used to be my pride and joy. But now life has calmed down a lot. I finished my first degree and right now I’m just working to make some money while trying to figure out what I want to do in the future. Which Master’s program I should go in. Basically my future is very uncertain right now but I’m okay with that because I want to find the right thing for me.

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I’m not even sure why exactly but something inspired me to want to pick up my old hobby of blogging again. Once I used to love it so much it literally consumed most of my time. Writing has always helped me in so many ways, so I want to go back to just writing for me and writing for fun in my own little corner of the internet.

I know this used to be mostly a makeup blog and makeup is still my passion. My makeup collection has probably more than doubled within the past year even but I want my blog to be a lot more than just makeup. I really want to incorporate more lifestyle posts and basically just write about whatever inspires me and makes me happy, so be prepared for anything (but still lots of makeup reviews).

Right now it feels like a big chapter in my life is coming to an end and a new one is about to start, which is exciting yet scary at the same time. But to every ending there is a new beginning with new chances and opportunities and I’m intrigued where this new journey will take me and my little blog.

Thank you for reading!

Love,

Sophie

 

 

Blogging and Life Goals for 2016

I know I’m a tad bit late but happy new year guys! I hope you all had a lovely NYE. I thought I’d kick off the new year with a more personal posts so here are my blogging and life goals for the year of 2016.

But first let me take you a bit back in time. Since the last half of 2014 turned into quite the nightmare for me I didn’t set any resolutions or goals for 2015. All I wanted for 2015 was to get back to my old self and find happiness again and I think I came pretty close to that. Though I’m not entirely the same person I used to be I can finally recognize myself again. But honestly I think when you experience something traumatic it is going to change you and you can never go back to that exact person you once were because you cannot just forget what happened. I’m sure we’d all like to forget certain moments, experiences or even people but that’s just not how life works. In order to move on you have to deal with it.

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While it took most 0f 2015 to get over 2014 I eventually managed to cope with everything that happened and now I’m finally at a much much happier and better place. I have my motivation back, which is why I’m determined to make 2016 my year!

  1. First off I want to get back in shape. After not being allowed to exercise and work out for so long I really want to push myself to hit up the gym regularly again and get back to a healthier me.

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2. When I first started University I was so determined to do much better than I did in high school and get really good grades because I finally got to study something  I was really interested in. However, having to start my second year late because of health reasons I stopped caring about school for a while. I’m still not even sure how I made it through my second year sometimes. I guess I just forced myself to function but I didn’t actively put any effort into anything. Since I now finally have my old motivation back I really want to work harder for those good grades

3. I hope that just like last summer I get to travel again! Traveling has always been a huge passion of mine because I love to explore other countries and cultures, so I hope that I get to do a bit more of that in 2016.

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4. One of my main goals this year is to focus more on my blog again! I’ve really been slacking with blogging lately. I used to enjoy blogging so much and I still do but life has been getting in the way so much lately. Additionally I just couldn’t motivate myself to write. I’m not really sure why because I used to want to write and post all the time. But I really hope I can go back to posting new and interesting content for you consistently again!

5. In 2015 I got the chance to work with quite a few  great brands, which was incredible. Honestly, when I first started blogging I never ever in a million years thought that any brand would ever contact me to work with them. So I’m quite proud of myself that that I’ve gotten some great opportunities through my blog in 2015. For 2016 I’d love to work with more  amazing brands and maybe some more great opportunities will come my way.

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6. In case you guys didn’t know I’m a huge Instagram addict! I spend so much time on Instagram it’s probably not good. But it’s definitely my main source for makeup, nail and outfit inspiration. And obviously I also love posting on there myself. I’m currently so close to 6000 followers, which is so little compared to some but a lot to me. For 2016 I hope to improve my Instagram as well as my blog and hope to gain some more followers on the way. 10K would be like my ultimate goal for 2016.That seems like so many people to me but I’m already more than halfway there so who knows? Maybe I can get there.

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So these are my personal goals for 2016. Basically I’m just really motivated to hopefully improve many aspects of my life, which will hopefully lead to a more confident and happier me. I guess happiness is my absolute main goal of the year because being truly happy isn’t as easy as some people make it out to be.

Did you set any goals for 2016? What are they?

Thanks so much for reading!

Lots of love,

Sophie

 

Because Make Up Doesn’t Define Me

” You’re such a pretty girl. I don’t know why you always put on all that make up. You totally don’t need it.” This is something that I’ve been told by quite a lot by people and lately it’s really been making me mad. Sorry, but since when do other people get to decide on what I do with my face? Last time I checked my face only belongs to me and I can do whatever the hell I want with it. It’s my choice. And what do you even mean with I wouldn’t have to wear all that make up? Are you implying that other people do need it?

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I’ve always had a love affair with makeup. Ever since I’ve been little I’ve loved how make up can help me transform into someone much more confident. And besides I thought it’s all about confidence these days? That’s what people tell you, right? Confidence is so attractive. Guys love confident girls. Confidence helps you with being successful in your career, so love your body and love the skin you’re in, right? Well, just because you tell me to love myself the way I am all my insecurities aren’t just magically gonna disappear, you know! Besides, just because I might wear a bit more make up than the average person doesn’t mean I’m insecure. It doesn’t mean that I hate the face that looks back at me in the mirror once all that make up comes off. I’m totally fine with how I look without make up. I don’t use make up to shape a face I don’t have and even if I did that’s still none of anyone else’s damn business.

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Like I’ve already mentioned I’ve loved doing my make up for years.  Yes, I do wear a full coverage foundation most days but not because I want to hide my face. I do it because I prefer the finish. Sorry, but I like my skin to look flawless. And yes I love rocking a bright lip some days because it makes me feel more empowering and I thought it was all about confidence, so if wearing a red lips is what makes me confident then what’s the problem? I occasionally put on a pair of fake lashes because I love the way they enhance my eyes. So what? Just because I do those things it doesn’t make me fake. It doesn’t mean that I’m stuck up and bitchy. It doesn’t mean that I’m materialistic. It doesn’t mean that I only care about other people’s appearance. It doesn’t mean that I have a boring personality. All it means is that I like to wear make up. Because guess what? Make up doesn’t define me. It’s just something I love to play around with. Something that makes me more confident and that gives me a little bit more strength to conquer the day.

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I usually try not to care about what other people think and I won’t change my ways but lately those comments have been annoying me a bit. Makeup is a hobby to me. It’s a way for me to express myself. I enjoy trying out different looks all the time and if I want to spend a little fortune on a lipstick then so be it. It’s my money after all.

I’m usually not one to go on crazy rants on my blog but this is just something that’s been bothering me for a while now and that I needed to get out of my system because I hate how people can be so judgmental and prejudiced at times. Make up doesn’t make me fake and it does not define me as a person in any way shape or form. So they can talk all they want, I’m just gonna continue to be me and do my make up the way I want to. Because I strongly believe that you should always do you and if makeup is what gives you more confidence then that’s totally okay and you shouldn’t change for anyone else.

What’s your take on this? I’d love to hear!

Much love and thank you for reading!

Sophie

Setting Goals & Dreams Coming True?

Hey guys,

I’ve had the best morning today. I got to sleep in and had the best breakfast consisting of a nice cup of coffee and hot pretzels. Breakfast perfection! I hope your start into the weekend is just as good as mine! Anyway.. I really felt like writing a more personal, rambly update kind of post so if you’re here for the usual beauty review you now have the chance to click off.

So some of you might remember the post I wrote about one of my best friends from the US and how we’re still very close and try to keep in touch even though we haven’t since each other in nearly 4 years, which seems like an eternity. I also wrote about how we always dreamt about traveling together and how we would make the craziest plans of all the cool places we wanted to go to. Honestly I never really believed our dreams would even come somewhat close to reality but guess what? She’s coming to Europe this summer! After years of trying she has finally managed to convince her parents to let her go to summer school in Paris! She’ll be staying in Paris for an entire month, so I can visit her there and once her classes are over she is going to stay with me for for two weeks and we’re planning on traveling to a bunch of different cities in Europe. Now it’s not set in stone yet and she still has to book the flights but it’s 99.9% sure that she’ll be making her way to Paris.

I cannot even put into words how happy this makes me. We’ve been talking about this for years and the last time we both saw each other was when we were 16 and now we’re going to see each other in around 4 month. I still can’t really believe that this is happening. I think I’m going to have an amazing summer and I can’t wait to share it all with you and blog about it.

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Now as some of you may also know I was really ill last summer and though I’m physically healthy again I wasn’t allowed to do any kind of sports for months so obviously I’m not in the best physical shape fitness wise. I’m still out of breath super easily, which annoys me immensely and makes me feel worse. But since I’ll be spending quite a bit of my summer traveling and exploring new places I need to get myself into a better condition health wise or otherwise I won’t be able to travel. As frustrating as it is so start slowly I’ve starting going for walks a lot and each time I manage walk a little longer without having to take a break. I hope to soon be able to cycle to uni again instead go having to drive.

It’s like now that I finally have a goal again I feel my motivation and energy coming back. It really helps to have something to work towards to because in the end you know you’re frustration will turn into happiness once you reach your goal. Summer seems to be approaching fast now and I’m seriously looking forward to it, which is such a great feeling because I haven’t really looked forward to anything in months. It was like I was just kinda living my life without having any direction. Obviously finishing my Bachelor’s degree is my goal but I was just kind of going to Uni and trying to get good grades but when I received those good grades it didn’t even make me happy. I felt a sense of relief but other than that it almost didn’t even matter. I was just living my life without actually living it if you understand what I mean. I wasn’t really feeling alive because I was still struggling with everything that had happened and it frustrated me that I couldn’t get back to old happy and carefree self.

But now I’ve set myself a goal and I have something that is truly making me feel excited about something again. I just wanted to share this more personal post with you guys because I know there are a lot of people out there who struggle with all sorts of things on a regular basis. I’ve had a terrible last 6 months if I’m being honest with myself but things are looking up for me a lot. I’m finding my motivation and energy again and I feel like I’m truly on the road to happiness again. So if you’re having a tough time because of whatever just remember that things will get better at one point. Even though it feels like they won’t.

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Thank you so much for reading!

Lot of love,

Sophie

A Little Life Update & My Favorite Lip Combo of the Week

Hey there!

As I’ve mentioned in my last post I have successfully managed to make it through the first week of my 4th semester at University! Yay! It’s been a stressful week and I have a feeling that this semester is going to be the hardest one yet! I’m taking a lot of courses this year and I need to write so many final essays and papers this time I’m probably gonna be sick and tired of spending so much time in front of my MacBook once summer rolls around.

Nonetheless I’m taking some really interesting courses this year. I know I’ve mentioned before what I’m studying but I don’t think I’ve ever really explained it. Now my study program is called English Language and Culture and I chose to focus on North America rather than the UK. No offence, I love the UK and have a wonderful time whenever I go there but I used to live in the US and it’s like my favorite place in the world and I really miss living there.

 However, I didn’t just want to study English or literature so I decided to study English language and culture because it’s a mixture of language classes (Syntax and Phonetics), history, politics, art, cultural studies and of course literature. This year especially I have quite a few classes that seem so interesting! Apart from even more literature and politics classes one of the courses I have to take is called American Popular Culture, in which we talk about all sorts of new phenomenons that are part of popular culture, be it movies, music, TV, comic books or even graffiti in big cities with NYC as a case study (I actually have to do a presentation on that soon). We’re also finally putting a bigger focus on Canada and after my first class of Canadian literature I totally wanna travel there now. Our professor basically gave us a 90 minute introduction to Canada as a country in general and Canada has now moved up a lot on my list of countries I still want to travel to. You guys probably don’t even care about this but I’m just really excited about some of the courses I’m taking this year, so I just wanted to share a bit more of my experience with going to University.

But let’s move on to the beauty part now. There’s a combo I’ve been loving a lot this week! I’m a fan of lip liner and one I’ve been loving this week is the Maybelline Color Sensational Lip Liner in 132 Sweet Pink. It’s basically a soft pink nude that gives you a your lips but better kind of color while adding some volume. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t really like gloss too much but I’ve been obsessing over my Urban Decay Naked Gloss in Sesso, which was included in the Naked On The Run palette I got very recently. Unfortunately I think you can only buy this gloss as part of the palette but it really makes me want to try out some of the other UD glosses. As you can probably guess I’ve paired these two together and I think they look great as the Naked Gloss is rather sheer, so it adds a nice shimmer to your lips without being over the top glittery.

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As always I hope you enjoyed this post. If you’d like to read more lifestyle posts about my University experience please let me know! Also do let me know if you like me mixing lifestyle posts with a bit of beauty as I did today!

Lots of love,

Sophie