Growing Up & Drastic Changes

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As you might be able to guess from the title toddy’s post is going to be a non beauty or fashion related type of post. If you follow me on Twitter you might know that I’m currently on a tiny little break from Uni and back home. Being home I’m much more aware of the time and what day it actually is so when I took a good look at the calendar I was pretty shocked it’s nearly May.This means it’s been almost a year since my High School graduation. One entire year. I still can’t get myself to actually believe that. It seriously feels like I was 16 just yesterday being the typical high school student loving life and trying to avoid the future. Now I’m 19 and I’m almost done with my first year of university. UNIVERSITY! How did this happen? When did I become this old (I know I’m not actually that old but you get the point, right?)

Last year around this time I had just finished all of my exams and I pretty much went out partying with my friends like every weekend. I wasn’t like miss popular but I definitely had a lot of friends and my social calendar was always filled with lots of fun stuff. Looking back I was pretty much having the time of my life to be honest.

When I found out that I got accepted into the University I wanted to go I was pretty ecstatic but it also changed my life drastically. I had to find a place to live (which I luckily did pretty fast) and get used to a completely different life. Now most people my age have the same issues but for whatever reason I decided it was a good idea to go study in the Netherlands and I moved there.

I’m now living on my own pretty much. I do share an apartment with 3 other girls but it is basically like living on my own still. My schedule is packed with lectures and seminars. It is freaking packed! From Monday through Wednesday I basically live on campus because I have classes almost all day. Whenever I don’t have classes I have to do assignments, read or do other stuff for uni and since I no longer live at home I have to remember to do grocery shopping and do the cooking, washing and cleaning.

It’s so weird having to think about what you want to eat each day and having spending your money on the right foods. I’ve noticed a bunch of things I was never really aware before but, damn, living healthy is so freaking expensive. I never really noticed that before because my mom would always cook for us, so I’d get a warm meal each day after coming home from school.

My social life isn’t really existing anymore. Whenever I have ‘free’ time I have to do laundry, go grocery shopping or spend I my time with blogging(a funny part. yay). I barely remember the last time I went out with friends. Wow. I used to go out every weekend and now it’s a big deal when I go out like once a month. It’s not that I don’t want to go out anymore, trust me, I do but having to keep up with uni and all the tasks that are coming along when moving out of your parents home is quite exhausting, so when I do have free time I much rather spend it chilling out with a good movie or a book.

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Don’t get me wrong I’m definitely not being whiny. All of these changes have brought a lot of good things with them as well. I love going to University. I feel like I’ve found the perfect study for me and I’m liking the path I’m walking on right now. I feel like I grew up a lot in the past couple of months. My parents seem to be taken me a lot more serioulys now whenever I talk about plans for my future because they see I actually know what I’m talking about and they know I will work hard to get where I want to go.

It’s just so crazy how much has changed in these past few months. I used to be a care free high school student, who was alway just off with friends partying it up and now I’m going to University, living on my own in a foreign country and I try really hard to keep my grades up. I used to be so afraid of the future back in school and having to live on my own but looking back after almost a year now I regret nothing. I feel like I’ve changed in a positive way. I’m still the fun and life loving girl I used to be just a bit more grown up. I’m much more responsible now and I feel like I finally found my path and an idea of what I want to do later in life.

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I guess what I’m trying to say with this post is if you’re somewhere in between a teenager and  adult and you are at that point in life where you have to make important decisions about your future and you might have to give up some fun parts of your life and work a bit harder always go for it. It will change you most likely in a  positive way. It definitely changed me in a good way. I’ve set my priorities and a good education is definitely one of them. But this didn’t mean I have to give up my friends and having fun. I still go out with them and do have fun. I might not do it as often as I used to but when I do get to see them it makes it even more special and so much more fun.

Have you experienced much change after high school? How did you deal with it?

– xx Sophie

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College: An Emotional Roller Coaster Ride

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It’s official! I survived my first semester of college. This is just so crazy. It’s like just yesterday I turned sixteen and went to my first high school dance and now I’m 2 months away from turning 19 and my second semester starts on monday. MONDAY! I can’t believe how fast time is flying by. It’s almost scary. So much has happened in just this last year. I changed from an unsure and insecure high school student into a pretty ambitious college student, who finally somewhat knows what she wants.

Last year around this time I was about to graduate and all I wanted was for time to slow down. I was terrified of the future because I had no idea what I wanted to do after school. All I ever wanted since I was eleven was doing an exchange year in the US. I can’t explain why but it was my goal in life so after my year was finished and I was back home I was so clueless. I’ve achieved what I wanted and I no longer had something to work for. I wasn’t exactly bad in school. I was just average because I didn’t have a reason to be really good. I didn’t know what I was doing it all for.

When I found out that I could do American Studies in the Netherlands and that I would have a lot of opportunities with that study later I really wanted to do it, so when I got accepted I was so incredibly happy. I have to admit I was a little scared of moving to a different country again and being the odd one out, but now I know that it was all worth it. I’ve passed all of my exams so far and I’m doing really good. Actually I’ve never been this motivated to study and be successful. It feels so good to be great at something. Besides make-up and fashion I’ve always had a passion for writing. I’m not good with talking about my thoughts and feelings but writing helps me to express those. I love how you can create a story and maybe touch someone’s heart with it. Writing gives you a voice, that might be heard. When people see me most of them just see me as this little blonde fashion doll, I guess, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t write a good academic essay on a historical story, now does it? Because guess what! I got an A on my last one! I know a lot of people never expected something like that of me and it’s such an amazing feeling to prove them wrong.

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Now that I’ve finished my first semester I know I definitely made the right decision. Moving to the Netherlands to do American Studies is the best thing that I could’ve possibly done and I’m so glad I took this opportunity. In order to get accepted into my University I had to pass a Dutch State exam and before last summer I didn’t speak a single word of Dutch. Over the summer I worked my butt of to learn as much Dutch as possible and pass the state exam. My Dutch is still nowhere near fluent but I passed the exam and I got accepted.

Looking back on the last few months I don’t think I’ve ever been this emotional. It’s definitely been a roller coaster ride of emotions for me. I’ve had my ups and downs. Sometimes when I passed an important exam or got a really good grade on an assignment I felt like I was on top of the world, like I owned it, and the next day I failed an exam or assignment or had trouble fitting in, because of the language barrier, and all I wanted to do was cry and hide in my bed for the rest of my life. I felt like such a failure but despite all that it’s also been one of the best few months of my life. I’ve come to realise how good I can be at something if I really work hard. I’ve at least found a direction for my future. A goal I’m working towards. I’ve met some great new people. I’m actually genuinely happy! I sometimes miss my friends at home and communicating with people in Dutch is still hard for me, but it’s getting better every day. I think I’ve grown up a lot in the last few months living on my own most of the time having to face all of the challenges studying abroad brought along with it pretty much on my own.

I’m so so so glad I gave this all a shot though being totally scared and I’m looking forward to my second semester. If the rest of my college experience will be just as eventful I know it’ll be an experience that will change me in a lot of good ways. I know a lot of good times are ahead of me just as hard times. I’ll have to work hard to keep my grades up,  because the failure rate for an exam is about 50% each time, which I think is quite a lot. But whatever.. I’ve done it before so I’ll be able to do it again.

Wow. This post’s gotten a lot longer and more personal than intended, so I hope I didn’t bore anyone. I guess what I’m trying to say is just, if you’re being offered a great opportunity in life take it! It might be terrifying  as hell at first, but if you don’t take it you might end up regretting it. I know I would’ve missed out on a lot if I hadn’t done this. It’s been a challenge and it will continue to be a challenge but I know I don’t want this emotional roller coaster ride to end yet.

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Have a great Sunday! XX

Lost and Found: My Very First Pair of Heels

It is not unknown that most girls have an estimated amount of millions of shoes. Females are just known for being obsessed with shoes. I wouldn’t particularly call myself a shoe fanatic and compared to many females I probably don’t have many shoes but the ones I do have I take much care of. Especially since I don’t just buy any shoes. My feet are very sensible so I tend to save some money and invest that in more expensive shoes that are of good quality.

With about 5 ft 4 1/2 I’m really not that tall. Almost all of my friends are at least a few inches taller than me and now that I go to college in the Netherlands I feel shorter than ever. People there are freaking tall! That’s exactly the reason why I tend to wear heels so I don’t look like a dwarf next to everyone else.

Just like probably every girl I still remember buying my very first high heels though they weren’t really that high. I’m originally from Europe but I’ve lived in Louisiana, USA, for a while when I was a 15-year-old. There I attended a private High School and just like every typical High School we had school dances of course. So when I was 15 I went to my first High School dance; the Homecoming Dance. I was wearing this gorgeous  dress and I got the cutest shoes to go along with it. I was in love with them. Although I was only 15 I felt like such a woman. After all I was buying my very first heels. Guys probably won’t understand this but for most girls wearing heels for the first time is like being one step closer to growing up and becoming a woman.

I have always kept my first high heels but suddenly I couldn’t find them anymore and that made me really sad. They were my first and I wore them to Homecoming so they bring back a lot of good memories.

After 2 months I finally found them in some old box in the very back of our basement. You cannot imagine how relieved I was. Now they are in a very special place in my closet next to my most precious heels. This way I hopefully won’t lose them again.  Anyway.. this just inspired me to dedicate a post to my very first high heels.

My little babies
My little babies

Am I the only one that’s this sentimental or do you girls still remember your first pair of heels and what occasion you bought them for?

Much love :)