When It’s Time To End A Friendship…

Change is inevitable. Whether we do want or don’t want change, it forces its way into our lives from time to time and there’s nothing we can do about it. Yes, things can change for the worse but often things change for the better. But it’s not always things that change. Often it can be people that change for better or for worse.

I’ve always been a bit more of a reserved person and although I can be very social at times I definitely identify as an introvert. Luckily I have never struggled to make new friends and I generally get along with just about anybody. Hence especially in high school I’ve had lots of friends. Fast forward a few years later and my group of friends has  shrunk quite drastically. Time is very valuable, so I choose to only spend it with people I feel are worthy of my time and effort. I know I know that might sound a bit harsh but is it really?

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I can’t count the amount of times I have worried about somebody not liking me, being upset about feeling left out or disappointed about what an alleged friend said or did. So why waste time on people, who you don’t truly love to spend time with? Who you can’t trust? Cause you shouldn’t! Some people simply aren’t worth your time and effort and sometimes it’s better to leave those people in the past and cut them out of your life.

Friendships end. But it’s not always a fight or betrayal that ends a friendship. Sometimes you just grow apart and that is okay because people change. No one is the same person they were ten years ago. Life never stops and we constantly encounter new people and experiences, which cause us to grow and develop and change. It’s natural. But sometimes it’s very hard to admit that you no longer have much in common with a person you once cared so much about. A person you shared so many memories with.

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I’m often told I’m quite mature for my age and I think that might be because I moved a lot growing up and I’m quite lucky to have been able to travel to lots of places and live and study in four different countries so far. Even during my junior and senior year in high school I was already different from my friends. Most of them had been born in the same city they’ve lived in for the majority of their lives. It was the typical everybody knows everybody kind of town most people never stray to far away from. I’ve always had big dreams of going foreign places and exploring the world country by country even at age sixteen. I had just moved back to Europe from the US, a country the majority of my new classmates had never been to, so everybody was quite intrigued to hear my stories and I made new friends easily. But things where easy back in high school. There was always something to talk about because as teenagers we all kind of go through the same things and life pretty much solely revolves around friends, partying and school.

I genuinely thought I made some friends for life back then and no matter where I would end up I would always keep in touch with my friends from school. After graduating high school I moved to the Netherlands to attend university there but I still came home every other weekend to see my dog, my family and my old friends of course. Especially during my first year of college I still hung out with them a lot but things started to change. Well, I think it was me that was changing while most of them didn’t. I felt how I was drifting away from my group friends and I didn’t enjoy spending time with them as much anymore because I felt like I barely had anything to talk about with them.

 I still had my big dreams of traveling and hopefully being able to work abroad in the future. Yet, most of my friends at the time had no interest in broadening their horizons past the life they already knew. Whenever I met up with them I mostly sat there and listened to their conversations about different people, boring and trashy TV shows and work. I wanted to engage in the conversation so badly but I felt like I had nothing to contribute. Especially compared to new friends I made, who I could talk to about everything from our dreams and plans for the future to politics. But when I hung out with my old friends I just felt so lonely. Have you ever experienced that? You’re in a room full of people but you feel so disconnected from them it makes you feel even more lonely than if you were by yourself. Well, if you haven’t I can assure you it’s not a nice feeling. Especially if you once used to be so close to those people. But suddenly you’re the odd one out. You’re on the outside looking in.

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Since spending time with my old friends made me unhappy I started to cancel on them a lot, which maybe wasn’t the most adult thing to do I must admit but it felt like the right thing at the time. Cause why would I want to put myself in a situation I knew would make me miserable?

While I was in Canada I didn’t keep in touch with most of them but I met the most amazing people. People like me that love to travel and are open-minded and always up to experience something new. People who cared. People who I could have intellectual conversations with. People who made me happy when I spend time with them and it made me realize that those are the kind of people I want to surround myself with.

Now I might not have so many friends but the friends I do have are genuinely amazing people that make me happy and that is what counts. If a friendship for whatever reason is making you unhappy it might be time to end it. It might be hard. It definitely was for me because it’s really hurtful to come to the realization that people who once were an important part of your life no longer seem to have a place in it. But I believe that is part of growing up. We all change and sometimes that change leads us into very different directions and that is totally okay.

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Friendships shouldn’t be dragging you down. They should be lifting you up, so what’s important to remember is that you’re not alone with your dreams and plans and interests. There’s lots of people out there, who you have so much in common with. It might take some time to find them but in the end it’s going to be so worth it.

Love,

Sophie

 

 

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A New Beginning

It’s been a very long time since I last wrote and pressed publish on a blog post. Actually it’s been a very long time since I last even looked at my blog. A lot has happened since. I spent six months studying abroad in Canada (best time ever) and I finished writing my Bachelor’s thesis (most stressful time ever).

The past months have been kinda crazy and emotional but some of the best I’ve ever had. So much was going on I totally neglected my little blog, which once used to be my pride and joy. But now life has calmed down a lot. I finished my first degree and right now I’m just working to make some money while trying to figure out what I want to do in the future. Which Master’s program I should go in. Basically my future is very uncertain right now but I’m okay with that because I want to find the right thing for me.

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I’m not even sure why exactly but something inspired me to want to pick up my old hobby of blogging again. Once I used to love it so much it literally consumed most of my time. Writing has always helped me in so many ways, so I want to go back to just writing for me and writing for fun in my own little corner of the internet.

I know this used to be mostly a makeup blog and makeup is still my passion. My makeup collection has probably more than doubled within the past year even but I want my blog to be a lot more than just makeup. I really want to incorporate more lifestyle posts and basically just write about whatever inspires me and makes me happy, so be prepared for anything (but still lots of makeup reviews).

Right now it feels like a big chapter in my life is coming to an end and a new one is about to start, which is exciting yet scary at the same time. But to every ending there is a new beginning with new chances and opportunities and I’m intrigued where this new journey will take me and my little blog.

Thank you for reading!

Love,

Sophie

 

 

How Blogging Has Changed Me

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I can’t quite believe it myself but at the end of this month my little blog turns 1! How crazy is that? When I first set up an account here on WordPress it was just for fun and I didn’t think I was going to stick with it for an entire year and even less, find a hobby I enjoy doing this much. Now I might not have the biggest following, the fanciest writing style, the most stunning photos or the prettiest blog design but blogging is something I genuinely enjoy doing and I’m glad I created my own little space on the Internet as it has changed me, personally, in quite a few good ways.

Creativity

Blogging requires you to be fairly creative as you constantly have to come up with new ideas for blog posts, ways to improve your photography or maybe you’re good with design and you’re always working on making your blog design even pretties. I’ve written and published 247 posts on my blog so far and if I think about that now that’s quite a lot. Now some might be more interesting and creative than others but I honestly never thought I’d find so much to blog about when I typed up my first post. My blog pictures aren’t the most beautiful ones out there but they have improved massively from when I first started and though I’m not perfectly content with them I feel like I’m on the right track. In general I just feel like I’ve really become so much more creative through blogging and I’m really happy about that.

Organization/Time Management

I have to admit I still haven’t mastered time management and being organized entirely but it has improved greatly from just a year a go. I keep a little notebook with me at all times now in which I write ideas down for blog posts. I sometimes write up a schedule of when I want to post what and this has definitely helped me with uni work as well. I may not always write it down but I have a little plan in my head of what I really want to get done each day and quite surprisingly I manage to stick to that little plan most of the time.

Confidence

I’ve always admired those people, who would wear whatever they want to no matter what others might say. Though I’ve moved around quite a lot I spent the last few years of High School in a relatively small town with a bunch of very judgmental people. I’ve always believed that the way you do your makeup and the way you dress can (doesn’t necessarily have to but can) be a way of expressing yourself, yet I never felt confident to sport that bold red lip or those fancy heels. I would sit at home and try out the most unique make up looks but I was never brave enough to wear them outside of the house in fear of being judged by others. Nowadays I really couldn’t care less. If I spent a little fortune on a lipstick I might as well wear it proudly, right? I wore bright orange or pink lips a lot this summer when I was back home and though some people might have looked a me like ‘what the hell’ I didn’t give a damn anymore. I only live once and just because some people in a little town no one knows of anyway don’t like the color lipstick I’m wearing it’s not going to stop me from wearing it anyway. Judge all you want.

Doing Something

Before blogging I spent most of my free time browsing the Internet for hours or watching YouTube videos and my favorite shows whenever I wasn’t busy with school, later on Uni work, or hanging out with friends. Obviously I still watch my favorite shows and browse the Internet for make up and fashion stuff but I spend a good amount of time on my blog as well. I really try to take my time for writing my posts and taking my pictures as I feel like quality is always more important than quantity. I write lists of blog post ideas and I try out different make up looks I could blog about. Basically I now feel like I’m actually doing something useful with my free time and like I am accomplishing something because it makes me so happy whenever someone likes a post of mine or leaves a thoughtful comment.

These are just a a few ways in which blogging has changed me as a person and I fee like for those reasons alone starting a blog was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Has blogging changed you in any way and if yes how?

Thanks so much for reading!

XX

Sophie

Growing Up & Drastic Changes

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As you might be able to guess from the title toddy’s post is going to be a non beauty or fashion related type of post. If you follow me on Twitter you might know that I’m currently on a tiny little break from Uni and back home. Being home I’m much more aware of the time and what day it actually is so when I took a good look at the calendar I was pretty shocked it’s nearly May.This means it’s been almost a year since my High School graduation. One entire year. I still can’t get myself to actually believe that. It seriously feels like I was 16 just yesterday being the typical high school student loving life and trying to avoid the future. Now I’m 19 and I’m almost done with my first year of university. UNIVERSITY! How did this happen? When did I become this old (I know I’m not actually that old but you get the point, right?)

Last year around this time I had just finished all of my exams and I pretty much went out partying with my friends like every weekend. I wasn’t like miss popular but I definitely had a lot of friends and my social calendar was always filled with lots of fun stuff. Looking back I was pretty much having the time of my life to be honest.

When I found out that I got accepted into the University I wanted to go I was pretty ecstatic but it also changed my life drastically. I had to find a place to live (which I luckily did pretty fast) and get used to a completely different life. Now most people my age have the same issues but for whatever reason I decided it was a good idea to go study in the Netherlands and I moved there.

I’m now living on my own pretty much. I do share an apartment with 3 other girls but it is basically like living on my own still. My schedule is packed with lectures and seminars. It is freaking packed! From Monday through Wednesday I basically live on campus because I have classes almost all day. Whenever I don’t have classes I have to do assignments, read or do other stuff for uni and since I no longer live at home I have to remember to do grocery shopping and do the cooking, washing and cleaning.

It’s so weird having to think about what you want to eat each day and having spending your money on the right foods. I’ve noticed a bunch of things I was never really aware before but, damn, living healthy is so freaking expensive. I never really noticed that before because my mom would always cook for us, so I’d get a warm meal each day after coming home from school.

My social life isn’t really existing anymore. Whenever I have ‘free’ time I have to do laundry, go grocery shopping or spend I my time with blogging(a funny part. yay). I barely remember the last time I went out with friends. Wow. I used to go out every weekend and now it’s a big deal when I go out like once a month. It’s not that I don’t want to go out anymore, trust me, I do but having to keep up with uni and all the tasks that are coming along when moving out of your parents home is quite exhausting, so when I do have free time I much rather spend it chilling out with a good movie or a book.

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Don’t get me wrong I’m definitely not being whiny. All of these changes have brought a lot of good things with them as well. I love going to University. I feel like I’ve found the perfect study for me and I’m liking the path I’m walking on right now. I feel like I grew up a lot in the past couple of months. My parents seem to be taken me a lot more serioulys now whenever I talk about plans for my future because they see I actually know what I’m talking about and they know I will work hard to get where I want to go.

It’s just so crazy how much has changed in these past few months. I used to be a care free high school student, who was alway just off with friends partying it up and now I’m going to University, living on my own in a foreign country and I try really hard to keep my grades up. I used to be so afraid of the future back in school and having to live on my own but looking back after almost a year now I regret nothing. I feel like I’ve changed in a positive way. I’m still the fun and life loving girl I used to be just a bit more grown up. I’m much more responsible now and I feel like I finally found my path and an idea of what I want to do later in life.

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I guess what I’m trying to say with this post is if you’re somewhere in between a teenager and  adult and you are at that point in life where you have to make important decisions about your future and you might have to give up some fun parts of your life and work a bit harder always go for it. It will change you most likely in a  positive way. It definitely changed me in a good way. I’ve set my priorities and a good education is definitely one of them. But this didn’t mean I have to give up my friends and having fun. I still go out with them and do have fun. I might not do it as often as I used to but when I do get to see them it makes it even more special and so much more fun.

Have you experienced much change after high school? How did you deal with it?

– xx Sophie

College: An Emotional Roller Coaster Ride

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It’s official! I survived my first semester of college. This is just so crazy. It’s like just yesterday I turned sixteen and went to my first high school dance and now I’m 2 months away from turning 19 and my second semester starts on monday. MONDAY! I can’t believe how fast time is flying by. It’s almost scary. So much has happened in just this last year. I changed from an unsure and insecure high school student into a pretty ambitious college student, who finally somewhat knows what she wants.

Last year around this time I was about to graduate and all I wanted was for time to slow down. I was terrified of the future because I had no idea what I wanted to do after school. All I ever wanted since I was eleven was doing an exchange year in the US. I can’t explain why but it was my goal in life so after my year was finished and I was back home I was so clueless. I’ve achieved what I wanted and I no longer had something to work for. I wasn’t exactly bad in school. I was just average because I didn’t have a reason to be really good. I didn’t know what I was doing it all for.

When I found out that I could do American Studies in the Netherlands and that I would have a lot of opportunities with that study later I really wanted to do it, so when I got accepted I was so incredibly happy. I have to admit I was a little scared of moving to a different country again and being the odd one out, but now I know that it was all worth it. I’ve passed all of my exams so far and I’m doing really good. Actually I’ve never been this motivated to study and be successful. It feels so good to be great at something. Besides make-up and fashion I’ve always had a passion for writing. I’m not good with talking about my thoughts and feelings but writing helps me to express those. I love how you can create a story and maybe touch someone’s heart with it. Writing gives you a voice, that might be heard. When people see me most of them just see me as this little blonde fashion doll, I guess, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t write a good academic essay on a historical story, now does it? Because guess what! I got an A on my last one! I know a lot of people never expected something like that of me and it’s such an amazing feeling to prove them wrong.

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Now that I’ve finished my first semester I know I definitely made the right decision. Moving to the Netherlands to do American Studies is the best thing that I could’ve possibly done and I’m so glad I took this opportunity. In order to get accepted into my University I had to pass a Dutch State exam and before last summer I didn’t speak a single word of Dutch. Over the summer I worked my butt of to learn as much Dutch as possible and pass the state exam. My Dutch is still nowhere near fluent but I passed the exam and I got accepted.

Looking back on the last few months I don’t think I’ve ever been this emotional. It’s definitely been a roller coaster ride of emotions for me. I’ve had my ups and downs. Sometimes when I passed an important exam or got a really good grade on an assignment I felt like I was on top of the world, like I owned it, and the next day I failed an exam or assignment or had trouble fitting in, because of the language barrier, and all I wanted to do was cry and hide in my bed for the rest of my life. I felt like such a failure but despite all that it’s also been one of the best few months of my life. I’ve come to realise how good I can be at something if I really work hard. I’ve at least found a direction for my future. A goal I’m working towards. I’ve met some great new people. I’m actually genuinely happy! I sometimes miss my friends at home and communicating with people in Dutch is still hard for me, but it’s getting better every day. I think I’ve grown up a lot in the last few months living on my own most of the time having to face all of the challenges studying abroad brought along with it pretty much on my own.

I’m so so so glad I gave this all a shot though being totally scared and I’m looking forward to my second semester. If the rest of my college experience will be just as eventful I know it’ll be an experience that will change me in a lot of good ways. I know a lot of good times are ahead of me just as hard times. I’ll have to work hard to keep my grades up,  because the failure rate for an exam is about 50% each time, which I think is quite a lot. But whatever.. I’ve done it before so I’ll be able to do it again.

Wow. This post’s gotten a lot longer and more personal than intended, so I hope I didn’t bore anyone. I guess what I’m trying to say is just, if you’re being offered a great opportunity in life take it! It might be terrifying  as hell at first, but if you don’t take it you might end up regretting it. I know I would’ve missed out on a lot if I hadn’t done this. It’s been a challenge and it will continue to be a challenge but I know I don’t want this emotional roller coaster ride to end yet.

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Have a great Sunday! XX