August 25th – A Day I’ll Never Forget

Although most of my blog posts are about beauty and makeup related things I’ve shared quite the personal blog post from time to time with you guys. I’ve mentioned before that I’ve never been good at talking about my feeling and thoughts, but writing them down has always helped me and is almost like a coping strategy for me. So if you’ve been reading my blog for a while you may or may not remember that I was seriously ill around this time last year. I’ve never been one of those people, who share everything on their blog but I’ve written a few very personal posts about my experience and how much I was struggling in my life afterwards.

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It’s now been an entire year as it all started August 25th, 2014. That day pretty much changed my entire life in a not so great way. Even just typing it out still feels weird to me and it is almost as scary as saying it out loud because it is the day I nearly died. I still remember how I woke up at home alone and my heart was racing like I had just ran a marathon. I remember going downstairs to get a glass of water and the one moment I’ll never forget is how I barely made it into my room before pretty much collapsing to the floor. I genuinely believed that I was going to suffocate. I couldn’t breathe. I just thought that was it for me.

After that day I had to live through the two scariest weeks of my entire life. I was in ICU for an entire week hooked up to a bunch of machines surrounded by people in a coma. I wasn’t allowed to do anything, not even get up and not knowing whether I’d ever be able to leave that hospital again was keeping me up at night. The doctors said it was a miracle that I survived and even more that I got away without any permanent damage but  I could go back to living my life the way I did before.

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People seem to think that once you leave the hospital and are physically fine you’re fine. No one prepares you for what you’re mind is gonna go through. When I got to go home everyone was so happy to see me having fully recovered physically but no one could see what was going on inside of me. I kind of blogged about it before how I couldn’t be happy that I was still alive and breathing. One day I was watching TV and I saw this report about a young girl who had suffered from the exact same thing as me only that she wasn’t so lucky. She’s now completely paralyzed and can’t even speak, trapped in her own body. Seeing that just made me wonder how on earth I’d gotten so lucky? Why me? I felt so incredibly guilty for not being happy and grateful about being healthy after seeing what could’ve happened to me.

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For months I just kind of stayed in my room and spend time all by myself pushing away my friends and family. I didn’t really want to talk to anyone and I didn’t want to do anything. I had no motivation and I just didn’t care about anything. I wasn’t depressed or sad I just didn’t feel anything: no anger, no sadness, no joy just nothing. There was this emptiness inside of me and it was like I was digging up this hole to hide in from the rest of the world shutting everyone else out of my life. At one point my parents got so worried they made me go see a counsellor and it was the best thing I could’ve done because my counsellor could make me understand as to why I was feeling the way I was feeling and that it was a completely normal thing for someone who had experienced what I did. She really helped me to get my life back on track to to start living again instead of just being alive.

She told me that since August 25th was the scariest day out of all for me to go and celebrate it by doing something fun. She told me to try and see it as a new chance or second birthday instead of the day I somehow managed to escape death, so that’s what I tried to do. For some reason I’ve always loved the ocean. It’s so big it just makes all my worries and fears seem so little. My parents took the day off and went on a little road trip to the beach with me and my dog. We spent all day there and it was honestly one of the best days I’ve had this year.

I still can’t believe that it’s been a year now since everything happened but things are finally looking up for me. I’m finally able to feel happy again, I hang out with my friends again and I started working alongside my studies. I’m trying to keep myself busy and it’s working. That empty feeling is still sometimes creeping up on me but I won’t let it affect me as much. I’ve just accepted the fact that this experience is now a part of me. It happened and it can’t be undone but that’s okay. I’m not the carefree always happy person I used to be and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go back to that same person but I’ve accepted that and I’m okay with it. At least I’ve managed to go back to being someone who has dreams and plans for the future and I’ve learned from all of this. Health and happiness are two things that I now consider a luxury and don’t just take for granted. I don’t know if I’ll be completely over what happened but I now know how to live with it and how to keep myself from going back to that dark place I was in.

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So why am I writing all of this? I think this post is more for myself than for anyone else because it is helping me cope and it’s part of my process of moving on but maybe someone who has gone through something similar reads this and can relate. If it just helps one person, apart from me obviously, then hey that’s great.

Much love, health and happiness,

Sophie

A Little Mac Lipstick Haul

Hey lovelies,

I’ve been such a terrible blogger lately. I barely managed to get one post up per week throughout the last two months and I feel awful about that because I love to blog. I just thought that I was going to be doing so much blogging this summer and now I have one week left before school starts again in September. How am I starting my third year already? I swear I just graduated high school yesterday. In general, my summer has just been a lot more busy than I expected. Because guess who has a job now? Yep, that’s me! I figured since I’m 20 now it would be a good thing to get a bit of work experience so while I’ll be a college student during the week I’ll be working on weekends but no worries I’ll definitely be trying to fit blogging into my schedule. If others can do it so can I, right? But enough about me now.

I’ve been adding so many new makeup products to my ever-growing collection throughout the last 2 months there will be a lot of reviews coming up, so to kick it off I figured I could start with one of my favorite things in the universe – Mac Lipsticks obviously! I always talk about how much I love a matte finish when it comes to lip products, so when Mac launched their new matte lipstick collection I was very very very excited and couldn’t wait to get my hands onto some of the colors. At first I only wanted to get one and wait until I got my first pay check but, you guessed right, I couldn’t wait that long and ended up getting three of them.

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Matte Royal 

This is probably the craziest and least wearable shade from the entire collection since it’s blue but ever since the first time I saw this online I knew I had to have it. Although I love my nudes and mauves on most days I can’t say no to a unique color like this. I always go for the crazy ones. So even though every one I talked to about getting this lipstick told me I was insane I went online to purchase it but it was sold out. I was kind of frustrated and ended up randomly ordering Instagator because it was a dark color and I’m a sucker for vampy dark shades. Anyway.. so the next day my best friend and I went on a little shopping trip and when we went to the Mac store they still had it there, so I obviously I bought it! I’m not gonna lie it’s not the most wearable shade but I love it anyway. It’s a lovely blue that has some purple to it. It’s not as pigmented as the other two I bought but it still is quite long lasting and doesn’t dry out your lips

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Instagator

As I mentioned earlier I just ordered this color online because I was annoyed that all the other shades I originally wanted were sold out already. Basically I bought it because it was described as a smoky black purple. That sounded like a cool color to me so before I could think twice I added it to my basket and checked out. Looking back I am so glad I bought this color because it is absolutely stunning! It’s such a dark purple, which makes a lovely color to wear for fall and winter. Honestly, I’m so done with summer right now because I just want fall to start so I can wear this lipstick. I love a dark lip so this couldn’t be more perfect for me because I didn’t own a dark purple before. Since I just kind of randomly decided on buying this color I’m even more impressed with how much I love it. I have a feeling this might become a new favorite.

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Persistence

When I swatched this at the Mac store I instantly knew this was the color for me. I’m such a lipstick obsessed person even when I don’t wear a full face of makeup you’ll rarely ever catch me without something on my lips. Since I’m quite pale I like nude lipsticks that lean more towards a darker color than very light, so one of my go to colors has been the hyped up Velvet Teddy. It’s without a doubt my most used lipsticks and even though I only got it a few months ago I’m more than halfway finished with it, which is making me very sad. Ever since I bough Persistence I’ve been wearing it nearly every day and I feel like I might even love this more than Velvet Teddy because it’s more of a brown color and slightly darker. It’s just a great color and it makes my lips look so much fuller. But the best thing is that it really lasts! When I wear it to work it lasts so well. I usually apply it around 10.30am because I start at 11.3oam and it lasts until my 30 minute break at 6pm so I only have to reapply it once before I can go home at 8. What more could I want? I’m seriously love with this lipstick!

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So these have been the colors I’ve picked up from Mac’s new matte collection so far although I’m pretty much 100% sure that I’ll be adding some more. Have you purchased any? Which ones are on your wish list?

Thanks so much for reading!

Much love,

Sophie

The Beautiful Brussels

So just as promised I want to share another one of my summer travel adventures with you guys. It’s already been a while since I went on this trip but I absolutely loved it in Brussels, so I decided that I was going to blog about my trip there anyway. I still have two more weeks left before I return back to college and I thought I’d so much time to blog this summer but somehow time’s just been flying by and I’ve really been slacking lately but I’m very determined to work on a blogging schedule again because every time I do blog I realise how much I miss it.

Anyway.. back to Brussels. As you may or may not know I’ve been traveling to a few cities within Europe with one of my best friends, that I went to high school, this summer. One of the cities we visited was Brussels. We only went for a day but I genuinely hope I get to return to this place one day because I fell in love. I was really excited to go see Brussels because I’ve heard that it’s supposed to be a pretty city but I didn’t expect it to be this beautiful. I honestly feel like it’s so underrated.

Since we only had a day we tried to take in as much as possible, so we basically walked around the city all day and I’ve seen some of the prettiest buildings along the way. We were really lucky because the weather was amazing. Obviously we had to try some original Belgian waffles and oh my gosh they were delicious. I really wish we would’ve had more time because we came across a bunch of museums, that seemed really interesting, which I would’ve loved to visit. But since we had little time we decided to explore as much of the city as possible. We also went to go see the Atomium, which is located a bit outside of the city. I expected it to be a bit smaller than it turned out to be but it was definitely a cool sight to see. I’ve just included a bunch of pictures I took, so I hope you enjoy them.

Thanks for reading!

Much love,

Sophie

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Too Faced Melted liquified Long Wear Lipstick – Melted Peony

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If there’s one thing I can never get enough of it’s lip products in any way, shape or form. I have quite the big makeup collection in general but it’s lip products that have taken over my entire room and the bathroom. I always lose some and I always find some I never even knew I had. You’ll barely ever catch me without some lipstick, lipliner or whatever on my lips even on days I’m barely wearing makeup.

I think I’ve probably mentioned this about a million times on here but I definitely prefer lipsticks over lip gloss. However I do love liquid lipsticks, which is why I’ve been dying to try one of the Too Faced Melted Liquified Long Wear Lipsticks for the longest time now, so you might be able to imagine my joy when a very lovely friend of mine got me the shade Melted Peony as a little present.

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The reason why I love liquid lipsticks is because they usually come in a gloss like looking packaging and with a gloss like applicator and I love how you apply them similar to a gloss and then they just dry off and are long wearing like a lipstick. Don’t ask me why but I really like that concept. It’s like you get the best of both worlds.

As most other liquid lipsticks the Too Faced one comes in a really cute gloss like packaging but then again Too Faced is one of those brands, that never disappoints when it comes to pretty packagings. I could probably buy every single one of their products just because I’m in love with their pretty packaging. Luckily the actual product is just as amazing as the packaging though in this case.

The shade Melted Peony is described as a dusty rose but I think it’s quite a light pink but still quite bright if that makes any sense. I would wear this as an everyday shade but I don’t think it’s an everyday shade for everyone because it is definitely quite noticeable but without being too in your face.

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What I’m most impressed with is definitely the formula. A lot of liquid lipsticks tend to feel incredibly drying on the lips and definitely dry them out when worn all the time. However, this one actually feels really nice and moisturizing, which is a huge plus for me. And I’m obsessed with the finish of this lipstick. I would probably describe it as more of a satin finish, with great pigmentation and a good amount of staying-power.

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So far the Sephora liquid lipsticks have been my absolute favorites because they dry off to a completely matte finish (which is my personal favorite), they are insanely pigmented and they stay on forever. But I have to admit that I like the Too Faced one almost just as much as I’m really impressed with how much I like the formula of these. I think I might have to get a few more shades.

Have you tried these? What is your favorite shade?

As always thank you so much for reading!

Much love,

Sophie

Mac Extra Dimension Eyeshadows in Sweet Heat and Sea Worship

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I’ve been wanting to talk about these eyeshadows for the longest time now. I got them a little over a month ago and been using them a lot, which is why I don’t really know why I haven’t blogged about them yet. But you know life gets in the way and I’ve gotten quite a lot of new makeup items in the past few weeks and I probably got so used to  using these eyeshadows I forgot that I still wanted to write about them. At least I remember now. Better late than never, right?

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When I first saw Mac’s new Extra Dimension eyeshadows when they came out I pretty much fell in love right away and knew that I had to purchase some of these. As much as I love a matte finish when it comes to lipsticks when it’s about the eyes I’m all about glitter and shimmer. What I love about these eyeshadows is that they are just the right amount of shimmery. They look beautifully on the eyes without being too over the top and are perfect to glam up a more neutral look for the day. But of course you can always go for a smokey eye as well! Whatever tickles your fancy.

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Anyway… at first I was trying to convince myself that I didn’t need any more eyeshadows but then I was out shopping with my mom anyway and when I see a Mac store I automatically gravitate towards it, so of course I ended going in. When I laid my eyes on these beauties I couldn’t help myself and before I knew it I pulled out my wallet and left the store with a bag taking the shades Sweet Heat and Sea Worship home with me.

Sweet Heat

Mac describes this shade as a ‘bright peach champagne’. I don’t know if its just me but when I look at the color in the pan I don’t see any peach at all and it looks more like bronzy shade to me. However, swatched on the skin I can pick up a slight touch of peach but in my eyes it’s not very noticeable. But then again colors tend to look different on varying skin colors. Sweet Heat is probably the shade I use more just because it’s more neutral and I usually keep my eye makeup quite simple on an every day basis because I’m lazy. So what I do love to do is apply this shade all over my eyelids and I love how shimmery it looks.

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Sea Worship

I think this shade might be one of my absolute favorites at the moment. It’s a beautiful  olive green with some golden shimmer to it. It’s just stunning. I sometimes like to use this in my crease to add some definition to my eyes but it’s also a color that looks beautiful when it’s applied all over the lid. I think the reason I went for this shade is that I don’t really have anything similar to is and I think it goes great with browns, golds and champagne, which are my go to shades. Even though I’m still ridiculously pale I think this is a shade that would look even better on tan skin. Unfortunately I wasn’t blessed with that but I’m just going to make it work anyway because I am obsessed with this color.

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Basically I’m in love with both colors because they are absolutely stunning and look so so nice in the pan as well and actual skin. They are very nicely pigmented and I love the formula as they are so buttery, which makes it easy to blend them. The only downside I can think of is that I don’t own more shades but knowing me I’ll probably add a few at one point anyway because I’m a weak individual with no self control when it comes to makeup but that’s no secret.

Have you tried any of these eyeshadows? Did you like them? Which other shades are worth picking up?

Much love,

Sophie

Paris Adventures

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As promised in my last post I’m back to start off my little travel adventure series starting with the beautiful city of Paris. So far I’ve only ever been to Paris once in my life, together with my family when I had just turned 15. I’m 20 now so it’s definitely been a little while. I’ve written about this before but I went all the way to Paris to meet up with one of my best friends, who came to Paris for 4 weeks to go to summer school. The last time we saw each other was 4 years ago when I was finished my sophomore year in high school in a small town in Louisiana very far away from where I’m living now. I’ve already said this in my last post but I feel like we have a very special friendship because although we probably couldn’t be more different we managed to stay incredibly close friends despite not seeing each other for 4 years.

We only stayed in Paris together for a few days before traveling somewhere else but those days were some of the best I’ve had this year. We didn’t even do that many cool things to be honest, but it was just so much fun to finally be reunited and to explore the city together.

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I think for me personally one of my favorite things from our trip was going all the way to the top of the Eiffel Tower. Now I’m terribly afraid of heights. They scare the hell out of me and the older I get the worse my fear seems to get as well. In case you didn’t know you if you want to go to the top of Eiffel tower you can either just take an elevator or climb up 600 stairs. Since taking the stairs seemed horrifying to me we settled for the elevator. I think we waited in line for about 2 hours and it once again reminded me of how obnoxious some people can be. Two girls just decided to cut half of the line right in front of us and a few people behind us this oce girl was playing the ukulele while her friends were singing along to it. The only problem though was that neither of them could sing and the girl playing wasn’t the best at it either. So you can imagine how glad I was when we finally got to the top although I was a bit scared as well. However the view was absolutely breathtaking. We went up while it was getting dark so we got to see Paris with the sun still out as well as in the dark. What I liked most about the experience though was that all my worries and problems suddenly felt so small and I just felt so much at ease.

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I also tried macarons for the first time and let me tell you I’m not impressed. I see them all over FaceBook and Instagram all the time and everyone seems to be obsessed with them. My best friends thinks they are some of the best things ever so I had really high expectations. I don’t really know what I was expecting but I do know I was kind of let down because I thought that they tasted really plain. But I did try the coolest ice cream ever! There was this one place we found that sold ice cream shaped like a flower and that really impressed me.

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Apart from the going to the top of the Eiffel tower we didn’t really do a lot of touristy things. Basically we just walked through the city, enjoyed the view and filled each other in on what’s been going on in our lives for the past 4 years. It was fun and it seemed a bit unreal. Who would have ever thought that after 4 years we would be walking the streets of Paris together so causally as if it was the most common thing ever. I definitely didn’t see this one coming!

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I hope you enjoyed the pictures I took.

Thank you for reading and lots of love,

Sophie