September Favorites

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Hey lovelies,

September is nearly over. October already begins tomorrow! Can you believe that? I sure can’t. Crazy how time is flying by. Anyway.. it’s time for my September favorites.

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The first product I’ve really been liking a lot this month is the L’Oreal True Match foundation. I haven’t been feeling too confident about my skin, so I liked the thick consistency of this and how it would make me feel a lot more confident about my skin. I don’t have any terrible acne but my skin has been looking so dull and tired lately and this baby has helped me to look awake and refreshed.

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Next up are these two powders. On the left is the Essence all about matt fixing powder. I like to just apply this all over my face when I’m done with my make up. It sets everything well and helps to blend everything in. On the right is one of my favorite things in the world. My Mac Mineralize Skinfinish powder. Basically it’s my favorite powder ever. As you can see both of them have been used and loved quite a lot!

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Another thing I’ve been liking is this Mascara. It’s the Rimmel Day 2 Night mascara. I got this for free when I bought one of their foundations a few weeks ago and somehow forgot about it. When organising my make up collection I found this again and figured why not get some use out of it. It’s not my favorite mascara ever but it’s pretty good and I like to use it for my every make up.

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Last but sure as hell not least, here are some lip products. I’ve written a full review of both of these beauties, so if you want to know more and see some swatches just check those out. Both of them have been some of my absolute faves lately. On the left is the NYX butter gloss in Tiramisu and on the right is the Maybelline ColorSensational in Atomic Pink. 

And here we go. These are my September favorites. What have you guys been loving this month?

xx

Sophie

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Patience Is Key

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I seem to have developed a habit of writing very personal lifestyle kind of posts every Sunday and this one seems to be no exception. I guess typing this all up helps me personally to realise certain things, to process what happened and to get things off my chest and who knows? Maybe someone out there who is feeling similar will read this and maybe it will help someone to know their not alone with things like these.

So basically I had a check up appointment the other day. They did another X-ray of my heart and drew some blood to see if the medication I still have to take is working correctly. Plus I also had an appointment with the cardiologist who has mostly been in charge of my case. We had a conversation and he explained the results of the tests to me and I got some pretty amazing news. When they did the x-ray there was not even a trace to be seen of what had happened. My heart had completely recovered and I won’t be suffering from any permanent damage to my heart. I still have to be on medication for another 6 months just to be sure but basically I’m 100% healthy again. The doctors told me it’s a little bit of a miracle because after having such a severe case of pulmonary embolism, that blood is blocking your heart you usually don’t get away like that. When I was got into the hospital my right heart had been swollen up to the size of my left heart. Usually your right heart is supposed to be a third of the size of your right heart. Now it’s all back to normal. Guess I must have been extremely lucky.

Now I’ve been going back to University for 2 weeks already and it still takes me quite a lot of courage to force myself to leave my room and go out there in the world because I still have those days in the hospital engraved into my mind and I’m afraid something like that could happen again. Everyone telling me that I’m fine and shouldn’t have to worry is even making it worse. It makes me feel like it’s my fault that I get so panicky sometimes.

This upcoming week is actually the first week I will be staying in the Netherlands for longer than a few days because I had a couple of days off during the last 2 weeks in which I would go back home. Yesterday was the first time I went out with a friend for dinner since the whole hospital situation. Even though I was terribly nervous for some reason that is unknown to me I really enjoyed myself. It was actually nice to be with people I care about and to just talk and have a good time. I’m not exactly interested in hitting the clubs again and partying like there’s no tomorrow but I managed to enjoy myself outside of my current ‘comfort zone’ I guess. I used to always enjoy hanging out with all my friends whether it was just meeting up for lunch, shopping or even clubbing. Ever since I got home I wasn’t interested in any of that. All I wanted was to just stay in my bed and be alone. So yesterday was definitely an important step and I’m a lot more optimistic now.

I know I will never get an answer to the questions spinning around in my head. Why me? Why was I one in like 100.000? Why did I get a second chance? How is it possible that I’m recovering so quickly? Truth is no one knows and thinking about it 24/7 won’t get me any answers. And it sure doesn’t help me to move on. Actually it does more of the exact opposite.

It’s been a little over a month since I was hospitalized and of course everything that has happened is still incredibly present in my life. If you are forced with the possibility of death that doesn’t leave you cold. It changes your point of view. They way you see things. The way you perceive the world. Since then I hardly walked or did any kind of exercise, simply because I wasn’t allowed to. I am totally out of breath if I have to walk a fairly short distance. Walking up stairs is very exhausting, which is quite frustrating. I swear, I feel like an old granny at times. My fitness level has decreased immensely. Now it’s up to me to change that. I have to go on walks to just get my heart back on track.

Today I went on a little walk with my mom and my dog for the first time. Even though I didn’t get too far, because it was so exhausting for me I guess I just have to see the positive things. Four weeks ago I wasn’t even allowed to stand up. Just leaving the hospital for a few minutes and be able to suck in some fresh air was my biggest dream back then. Three weeks ago I barely made it to the bathroom for the first time. I still remember how shaky my legs were and I was more stumbling then walking. I guess I just have to make myself see the progress.

I have to be patient and continue to slowly get my life back together. I have to stop spending so  much time alone in my room bringing back those scary moments over and over and over again and thinking why? That won’t get me anywhere. I have to surround myself with positive people, who care about me. I have to go on walks to improve my physical condition and maybe I’ll finally be able to cycle to Uni in a few months from now just like I used to. But most importantly I have to be patient. I can’t expect everything to just go back to the way it was. My body needs time to recover and so does my mind.  I guess sometimes patience and a bit of effort is the key.

XX

Sophie

Pink Beauty – A Fall Favorite

Quite a lot of my recent post are revolving around fall but fall is officially here and one of my favorite seasons. Now some people like to change up their make up depending on what season it is and I’m definitely one of them. While I love bright pinks in the summer I tend to store them away once the days get shorter and the nights get darker. During fall and winter I totally love a darker lip. One of my favorite shades especially in fall is a darker pink berry kind of shade. Hence I thought I’d share one of my favorite lipsticks for fall with you guy. And guess what? It’s really affordable as well.

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The lipstick I’m talking about today is the Maybelline ColorSensational in 190 Atomic Pink. I’m quite the fan to the colorsensationals in general as I’m in love with their formulae. They aren’t exactly matte but not too glossy either and they feel super moisturizing on the lips. I know I get really dry lips once it gets colder, so I think it’s nice to have a lipstick that moisturises as well. As much as I love my Mac matte lipsticks they sometimes require too much effort. At times you just want to smack on a bit of color without having to worry that your lips are turning into a total mess because you didn’t moisturise them enough. With this lipstick you’re definitely on the safe side because it doesn’t stick to any dry patches.

But now let’s talk about the actual color of this lipstick. How gorgeous is this dark pink shade? I think it’s beautiful. In my opinion it’s the perfect berry shade, which makes it the perfect lipstick for fall because I love berry shades during fall. I don’t know what it is about that color but I think it’s so fitting for fall. I adore dark red lips as well but I tend to wear those more towards November or the winter months (with a few exceptions here and then) Here’s a little swatch for you guys.

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And this is how it looks on the lips.

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If you’re looking for a nice berry shade for fall I can only recommend this one. The shade is beautiful, it’s fairly long lasting, affordable and I think it’s a shade that would suit a lot of people.

What are your favorite fall lipstick shades?

Thanks for reading!

XX

Sophie

A Small Fall Make Up Haul

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Hey Lovelies! I’ve been picking up a few make up items lately, so I thought I’d pick out my favorite and do a bit of a first impression haul mix post. So here we go!

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The first thing, which might also be my favorite from this haul, is this beautiful Essence Hello Autumn multi color powder. Just look at it. I’m in love with the design of the pretty little leaves. It’s so adorable. I’ve used it a few times now and I really like it so far. Sometimes I use this instead of blush and just swirl it up and apply on my cheekbones. I love how it functions as a highlighter but still gives my cheeks a very slightly bronze. Of course you could also dust this powder lightly all over your face to get a bit of a bronzed and glowing complexion.

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Next up are these two beauties. The one on the left is the Catrice Limited Edition Metallure Metallic Marbled Eyeshadow in Metalight. Yep, that’s an obnoxiously long name but the eyeshadow itself is gorgeous. Because it’s a marbled eyeshadow it looks a bit different evey time I use it but in general it’s like a shimmery champaign shade I would say.

The one on the right is the Catrice Liquid Metal Eyeshadow in 030 We Are The Champaignes. I’m not entirely sure why this is called liquid because it’s not but it’s definitely a metallic shade. I’d say it’s more of a golden than a champaign color but it’s beautiful anyway.

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Last but not least I got this Maxfactor Lip Infinity in Dazzling Cocoa. I don’t really have any brown lipsticks and I like the concept of this. First you apply a darker lip color, which looks like a gloss but basically is a liquid lipstick. After it dries of you put the gloss on top. It’s incredibly long lasting and I love the colors for fall.

So what have you guys been buying?

Thanks for reading!

XX

Sophie

A Recent Go To Favorite

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Hey lovelies! I know I’ve mentioned the NYX Butter Glosses quite a few times on this little blog of mine but they are becoming more and more one of my absolute favorite lip products. I would’ve never thought I would say this about lip gloss but I’ve just been reaching for these so often. After absolutely loving Maple Blondie I bought Tiramisu a few weeks back.

I would describe Tiramisu as a beautiful nude slightly brownish shade. Basically it’s one of those your lips but better kind of shades if you know what I mean. Ever since I got this I’ve just been using it so often. When I’m in a rush I just smack this by itself on my lips real quick but it also looks beautiful if you put it over your favorite lipstick.

If you’re like me and you’re not that much into glosses I would say you should really give this one a go though. They’re so buttery and soft and not sticky at all. They are pretty much everything I’d hope for in a good gloss and the best thing is they are so affordable.

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This has definitely been a go to favorite in the last few weeks and I’m honestly so glad I gave this gloss a go. It’s so easy to just throw on real quick and it looks so pretty.

Have you tried one of the NYX glosses?

Thanks for reading!

XX

Sophie

‘Cause Moving On Is Hard…

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I want to start this post off by saying that I’m no way writing this to get any special attention or pity. The reason I’m writing this is because I’m someone who can’t talk about feelings. I just can’t. I tend to keep everything to myself but lately something in my life happened that I need to process somehow. Some people may say now why are you sharing it with the Internet? I regard my blog as my little corner on the Internet, where I can write whatever I want to. People who read this may judge me but I won’t know because I’ll probably never meet them, so I don’t really mind. Judge me all you want. And trust me it wasn’t easy to write all of this down and to hit the publish button. I just know that I need to share this and since I can’t talk about it I have to write about it. Anyway.. I’m sharing my story because maybe someone else is going through something similar and can feel along and it just helps me to try and move on.

Tomorrow it will be 3 weeks since it all happened. 3 weeks since my dad brought me to the hospital and I ended up in intensive care battling a life threatening disease.

I have always lived pretty healthy. I don’t smoke. I hardly drink. I eat my veggies. I work out every now and then. In general I just try to look after my body. During my vacation in August I suffered from a pretty bad cold, so when I returned home and felt weak and tired all the time I didn’t think of anything bad. I thought it was just still related to my cold. Then on Sunday I woke up with chest pain and whenever I walked stairs I could hardly breath, which seemed a bit alarming to me but still I just thought it was because of my cold. Since I was feeling good besides being a bit out of breath I went out to dinner with some friends of mine and we were even making fun of me for sounding like Darth Vader.

On Monday morning I woke up and I could feel my heart racing so fast like it was about to jump out of my chest. The pressure on my chest had increased a lot. Unfortunately I was home alone. My parents were both at work and my brother was at school. I went downstairs to make me some tea and when I went upstairs again and reached my room I was so out of breath I thought I was going to choke. I lay down on my bed and after 10 minutes my breathing had gone back to normal. I just felt like something was terribly wrong, so I texted my mom and she told me to call my dad. My dad’s a surgeon in a big hospital, so he came right over and brought me there. Since he works there I didn’t have to wait and was brought to a room right away.

I thought I had just some kind of infection and they  would give some antibiotics but things came very differently. They drew blood and run some tests. They told me I had to stay for a few days and after waiting for a while they brought me to a room in a wheelchair. I wasn’t allowed to walk anywhere, which seemed so weird to me because I was feeling fine apart from being out of breath easily. After doing some tests my dad came into my room and told me that I was suffering from pulmonary embolism. What basically happens is that blood clots block arteries in your lungs. No matter how severe it is it’s always life threatening if nothing is done. Of course my dad didn’t tell me that. After doing some more tests one of the doctors I’d met throughout the day came into my room and told me that I would have to be moved into intensive care. That was the moment I realised that it must be something serious because they don’t put you there for no reason. I was moved there on that Monday evening and was hooked up to a bunch of monitors watching my every heartbeat, checking my blood pressure every hour and other stuff. I was terrified.

The next day they told me that my case was pretty severe because it had gone so far that there was blood blocking my right heart. During the next days they put me on pretty heavy medication to dissolve the blood clots. The treatment I had to go through came with lots of risks but I don’t want to go through all the details. I kind of just want to forget those days because it didn’t all work like it was supposed to and some complications came up but eventually it all came to an end.

After almost 2 weeks in the hospital the blood clots in my lungs and in my right heart were gone and I was healthy again. They released me and I returned home. On my last day they did one last test and everything looked like nothing ever happened. One of the doctors told my dad that he’d never seen anything like that. Usually you don’t get away without any permanent damage to your heart after such a severe case.

I was so lucky. If my dad wasn’t a surgeon and hadn’t once studied these things I probably wouldn’t have gone to the hospital right away. And if his colleagues hadn’t acted so fast and tried their everything to help me I probably wouldn’t be writing this right now.

I still have to take heavy medication for a while but basically I’m healthy again. Still I’m scared. I missed 2 weeks of university and I’m just scared of I don’t even know what. It’s just that one moment I was out with my friends and 24 hours later I found myself in intensive care hooked up to all these machines with a dangerous disease. I realised how fast life can change. In just seconds everything can be over.

Sometimes I feel so sad even though I should be crying tears of joy for still being here. Sure I’m glad it’s all over and I’m okay again. I’m beyond glad. I’m so grateful. But still I’m scared of my everyday life the way it was. I still have nightmares about those nights in the hospital when I was laying there in intensive care at night. When my parents where with me during the day they took my mind off of things but when I was alone at night all the horrible thoughts came to haunt me.

So tomorrow I’m going to my first lecture again. I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about everything to my friends in person. Writing it all down is so much easier but having to actually say it. I’m so scared I won’t be able to catch up on all of the things I missed. Plus I will be away from home and my parents in another country again. It’s all so scary to think about but I know I eventually have to get back on track and start living my life again. Right now I’m just kind of here. I used to be such a happy person. I had so many dreams and plans. I still do but right now it all seems so irrelevant. I used to get so freaking excited when I bout a new lipstick or eyeshadow or something like that and now I don’t feel anything really. I just feel kind of empty.

I just hope I can get back to my old self because I liked my old self. I hope that going back to uni will help me move on from this. I survived and now I need to start living again. My only problem is that I’m scared.

Wish me luck for tomorrow because I’m terribly nervous already!

Also I’d like to thank everyone who is reading my blog, liking and commenting on my pictures. This really means the world to me and I can’t believe that a little over 300 people are actually reading my rambles. Thank you so much!

Sophie

My Latest Obsessions…

 

Since I haven’t done an August favorites post, I thought it’d be a nice idea to kind of share some products, that I’ve been obsessing over lately with you guys. Almost all of the products I’m mentioning here have been used by me nearly every day because as the title already suggests I’m a bit obsessed. Sometimes when I buy a product I love or when I rediscover one I used to love I have this phase where I’m totally obsessed and use it almost every day until I move on to another one. Anybody else got that problem?

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Too Faced Boudoir Eyes Palette

OMG! This one I’ve been loving so much. It’s just a gorgeous palette with beautiful eyeshadows, which allow you to create a causal every day make up look but you can also turn that into a fancy evening look. I’ve written a full review about this little beauty not too long ago, so if you want to know more you can check that out.

Urband Decay 24/7 Glide On Eye Pencil in Demoliton

When I got my Urban Decay Electric Palette I got this gorgeous eyeliner for free from one of my favorite stores to buy make up from. Of course I’d never see no to a free eyeliner even though I wasn’t expecting to get too much use out of it because I hardly ever wear pencil eyeliner and usually never in brown. However this turned out to be the most beautiful dark brown shade and probably the best pencil eyeliner I’ve ever tried. It applies to easily and lasts so long without smudging. I’ve been using it basically every day for the last week and a half.

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Bourjois Paris Bronzing Powder + Highlighter

I got this a little while ago in July and I was so surprised by how much I liked it. The packaging is so cute and compact, which makes it so handy. I love the bronzer shade. The color is perfect for me and I love using this for contouring. I also love how the highlighting shade isn’t too glittery and sparkly like some other highlighters. I just think this is a really good product if you want something for contouring without having to spend a little fortune.

Victoria’s Secret Fragrance Mist Passion Struck

I absolutely love the Victoria’s Secret fragrance mists. They all smell so freaking good. My favorite at the moment is Passion Stuck. It contains fuji apple and vanilla orchid (whatever that is) and smells just heavenly.

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Lancome Hypnose Doll Eyes Mascara

This mascara has always been one of my favorites but it’s gotten a bit lost in my make up bag somewhere until I recently rediscovered it. Since then I’ve been using it so much again. I haven’t tried tons of high end mascaras but from the ones I have this is by far my favorite!

NYX Butter Gloss in Maple Blondie

Never would I’ve imagined to become obsessed with a lip gloss. I hardly ever use lip glosses because I’m not the biggest fan of most of the textures and if a gloss is too shiny. But this one is a total exception. The texture is amazing. It’s not stick and feels so moisturizing on the lips. I’m simply obsessed. Plus this color is such a gorgeous neutral pink.

That’s it already. These are my latest obsessions I’ve been using so much lately. We’ll see when I find new stuff to become obsessed with as that changes quite often. Oh well… what can I say. I just love make up. Don’t judge.

Thanks for reading!

XX

Sophie